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Dutch roulette, or the Adventures of students in Moscow

February 28 2005

... Got involved in this program, I immediately found a cartridge in the Dutch roulette. " Rules for its wonderfully simple: among a group of Dutch students who come to Russia, there is always a gay. Regardless of the sex ratio and the number of young people in the Dutch group. Who they will be, the Russian did not know until minutes of the meeting. And how on earth it could happen that it was exactly my Dutchman.

Surprises began immediately, the very first day.
However, specific problems in daily life and communion with him I do not create, but my requests to him to arrange a tour of the gay nightclub capital he told me pretty tired.

Student exchange program meant that the group of fifteen Dutchmen come to us, students of journalism of Moscow State University, and a half weeks. Each of the Russian participants of the program will live at home, one Dutch student. We introduce them to Moscow, metro and other places of interest, answer their questions and to ask, to communicate in English. They brought us to the motherland symbolic gifts, enjoy our hospitality and, in turn, waiting for us to visit me in two months. In general, implying that no surprises will be.

Generally spend more than a week under the same roof with a completely unknown person - not sugar. Especially if you have to communicate with him in English, which I know very mediocre. In our daily tradition of quickly included "breakfast with a dictionary, when we did not have breakfast as many as leafing through a fat volume to find the right words that would keep up the conversation. Do not communicate with a stranger, who lives in your house, you can not, because in this case, its presence is beginning to become extremely painful. Something similar feel to each other people who have lived 20 years in a boring marriage. It is pointed out even the Russian students, who knew English brilliantly.

The Dutch tried to learn a few Russian phrases, but their emphasis in the Russian sounded at times monstrous than ours in English. I saw a Russian-Dutch Phrasebook, which brought with me my dutch - it sounded as examples of questions like «Skazite, kaak proehat v Moskvu?» And «Dayte mne dve butylky vodky» («everyday scenes from the life of the Russian"). Then someone from the Dutch spill the beans to his Russian partner, that our great and mighty remind them clucking. And even showed how it was. The news quickly spread through the Russian group.

Resentment has been for us, the students with philological education, was terrible. During the day we are thinking about revenge - it must have been bloody, but not obvious.

On the one hand, the Dutch were completely in our control (we could lose them underground, to surrender to the police, etc.), on the other hand, harass each of them individually would have been vilely. So we decided to impale them wholesale, the whole group.

Give them a tour of the metro station "Revolution Square", a sculpture showed a partisan with a dog. Told that students in Moscow have a sign: if you want to pass the session, it is necessary to rub her nose. That was absolutely true - the nose of a dog was beaming. But this story, we are not limited to steel and showed another sculpture - the proletarians. So and so, supposedly a sign of modern times - if you want to get a good job, it is necessary to rub him the reason the place. My Dutch then repeatedly asked him again on metro show how to get to the station "Revolution Square".

a short time we managed to introduce a Dutch group with the Mayor of Moscow (gave him during an excursion to the Moscow City Duma of a bald tolstyachka), do solemnly sang the song in front of them "Oh, frost, frost" ("And now we want to sing you a hymn of Russia, I ask everyone to stand ") and threw a couple of pieces in the same spirit. What awaits us in a few months in Holland, it is terrible to imagine. Perhaps we are forced to sleep in closets and wear wooden shoes.

Gleb Borodin


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