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Addition required. Confession of a terrorist at the bar

February 25 2005

I go to work with two byutylkami of vodka in his backpack. I'm not an alcoholic. And not even the researcher of the taiga. I'm a bartender. And it is not that of vodka in the club napryazhenka. Just the opposite. Just when you think that the clubs you pour what you order - you are deeply mistaken. It does not happen.

Feel like a god

Night. On the street taxis carry about past wanting to have fun. And then clubs crammed to the eyeballs. I work in one of these. Those who come to the club from 22 to 24, my naparnitsa calls "from Tihobzdeevo. I laugh, but really - they drink, usually beer, domestic, and already dressed, so that no ultraviolet light does not save.

But beyond that begins the most important thing. People to become more and more. It seems that the club now burst, but in this frenzy and distress, rather than to die from lack of oxygen, Verka Serduchka begin to sing, even those who from childhood was listening to Radiohead, the group "Leningrad" still firmly holds the first position of any disco and by Ruslana, boys and girls start just bawling. I mean, like beasts of pleasure.

So, you're standing behind the bar. More precisely, nosishsya like mad. Two Campari-Orange, rum-cola with ice, four Tuborg, yes, I listen to you, help you choose a cocktail? Take a Pina Colada, you will not regret, but I suggest you B-52 is the one that lights up, you're right. Like it? To reiterate, no question. And these two I know that pour. They always come on the weekends to drink sambuca. Smile, well, more like. Six longaylendov! That's the night! Why, if all twelve! Absinthe fire? Yourself? Well, as you wish. Salut, that as usual on viskaryu? At what time I finish work? Boy, you know about it yet. How to please me? Drink up, buddy!

How to hang in grams?

The first thing taught to me by experienced bartenders, when I went through practice - a sleight of hand. And she did not want to throw up pretty glasses and juggle bottles, Nooo ... It is needed primarily to ensure that neither you nor the managers of the hall (which is much worse) did not notice what is going on behind my desk.

Now I explain about the vodka, which rings of glass in my backpack. The average salary in Moscow bartender 200-300 dollars. And they never will pay more. Because everyone knows how to make the bartender ...

Vodka bodyazhitsya all that off - viskar, cognac, tequila, vodka, expensive grades ... Drinks are weaker - wine, beer, even at times diluted with water. In noggin I constantly spinning the figures "Black Label 150 ... 80 ... sambuca Ararat 200 ..." We must remember to grams, where you have many and have time to punch half the cash. In addition, you will almost never poured as much as it is written in the menu. In the best case, instead of 50 grams poured 40.

The most amazing story I'll never forget, happened to my co-worker. Bought mint liqueur - a case where everything is already drunk the night, like, so to speak, something fresh, and why would not actually drink peppermint liqueur? Naparnitsa pours - mint, and ice. And then a strange happening. It tells the client: "I poured you 20 grams of the forty, you pour more or so left?" I feel that somewhere in my stomach begins to emerge hysterical laughter, holding on for dear life. Prior to co-worker begins to dawn that she had just said. Also note that the error could not be a beginner, it works a bartender for about 6 years and this speaks for the first time. What a man she very kindly replied: "Well, as you want, and can even pour."

p align = "justify"> They come, of course, and the goats are any. Begin to say something about the sludge foam, rude, and sometimes refuse to pay. But in all such cases in any club there is a guard.

You will know it ...

Bartender can learn immediately if he came to rest in the pubs. Typically, the plot develops as follows: "Hey, bartender, tekilki me!" And after the start - "do not dilute some tequila?", "And I ordered a rum, but COLA - ALONE!". That's bad bartenders. Greedy bartenders. Immediately clear how hard it gets the money to which they go to a club pit_kolu_otdelno. I, for example, I see everything that's going on behind the counter when I come to the tavern. I see. And silent. And leave a tip. Because everyone wants to earn (tell you a secret, it's almost a secret motto of all bartenders).

There was, however, one case. Ordering in some restaurant Jameson, viskar Irish, if anyone knows. Bring - vodka, I swear. I tell the waiter: "Tell your older that I understand everything, but not to that extent to keep people for suckers." In the end, was replaced by Jack Daniels (American bourbon).

Barman fatale

Often, the bartender begins to seem that he knows everything about everything. Not the essence, whether it be nuclear physics, quantum mechanics, or about the habits of a young female kangaroo. Why, he has seen so many people! So much vodka poured! And how much he drank, except tanks and not counted. And obsession. Work day after day the same, face in the mirror every day all the same, so it turns out that varishsya in its own juice, smoothing chelochku then on your left side, then on the right. After all the regular customers will notice. Too the game. And who said that the gods live so easily?

In the morning all disperse in a taxi, someone counting losses, someone - the rescue. All tired, but it will not be soon. In the meantime, sounds, thunders, the walls are shaking Guns'n'Rouses "Dont cry tonight, I still love you, baby" - the night goes on. And at this party there is a god. After a DJ, of course, or equally, objectively clarify and fail, but God is this - I am. I can feel it. The entire dance floor is yours, all come to you. Carry your money, smiles, wishes and compliments. You have been told that you are awesome and the sexiest? Yes, yes, dear, anything you drink or so we stand?

Ivan bodyagi


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