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The Darwin Awards - a pass to the League of outstanding idiots

March 10 2005
11:45

Award named after Charles Darwin to biology ratio is indirect. And the prize-her name in full is impossible - cash equivalent, it has not. Banknotes will never need most of its winners as they left this world. For that, actually, and thank the organizers of their premiums.

Darwin Award Committee annually awards outstanding idiots have made every effort to make their stupid genes could not be passed to offspring. And thereby improve the gene pool of humanity.

The main principle is the reward: a result of an accident nominees should lose the ability to reproduce. Will it be sterilization, or death - it does not matter. But the story must be truthful.

In addition, the idiocy and ignorance - these are two big differences. Children do not understand what they are doing. And so the winners are only adults. In addition, death must not be random, because of someone else's mistakes. Laureate should ditch myself personally, or allow themselves to ditch the only great stupidity. For example, such that differed Larry Walters of Long Beach, California campus.

Since childhood, he raved about flying. But because of poor vision in the Air Force took him only a mechanic. But at age 33, Larry decided to take revenge on fate.

He bought at a military warehouse fifty retired weather balloons and several tanks of helium. Gas 42 balls, tied them to the handles of your favorite chair, attached to it as a box of beer, pretzels, and a loaded shotgun, from which thought to shoot the balls to land. Chair was tied a rope to the bumper of his jeep. Larry sat down and cut the rope, looking forward to a smooth and comfortable flight over the possession of disbelieving neighbors. He wanted to hang in the air for an hour or two at a height of thirty meters.

But meteoshary were made in Europe, and the lift was given in kilograms.

And Larry, all calculations carried out in pounds ...

In seconds, he was carried to a height of 3 kilometers. With him sleteli glasses, and the courage to shoot the balls blindly at Larry was not enough. He froze to death and described the fear. It was something to fear: the wind was carrying it in an air corridor through which approach arriving in Los Angeles aircraft.

Its first commander, said the Boeing 767 "company" Pan American "and told the dispatcher the airport of a strange object hanging out on top. The airport announced an alarm and a helicopter were sent to clarify the situation. Approaching Larry, a pilot reported the psyche, flying in a chair and waving a rifle. Manager decided that the pilot slid the roof ...

Night was approaching, and an unhappy Larry started blowing in the breeze of the ocean. Helicopters could not approach him - flyer drifting air flow. But the output still be found. The helicopter hovered over Larry and covered his rescue network with ballast. Larry at that time was in a coma ...

He is still alive and relatively healthy. But as described in the clouds, Larry froze their male organs. Children he will not have, even if he is released from prison, where the hit for violating the rules of safety in the area of the airport.

This story took place two decades ago. Since none of the winners could not compete with Larry in popularity. But idiocy, like perfection, there is no limit. Each year, all new dullards go to storm records idiocy.

AWARD WINNERS Darwin

Real man

Polish peasant Krzysztof Azninsky arranged a bachelor party before the wedding. Guys pretty subjects, when his arm got a chainsaw.Krzysztof friend decided to show they can do real men, and cut off his foot off the saw. And then came the high point of the Krzysztof. Shouting: "Just think! And so weak? "- He wiped his head.

One of the friends Krzysztof later said of him: "He died like a real man." Darwin Committee now looks forward to new posts from Poland.

Sex on the sidelines

Kim Fontana and Paul Cowley of English Sheffield on the night of March 3, set about trying to make love right on the roadway. They are located in an intimate setting - a burnt-out lamp. Several drivers with difficulty managed to overtake the lovers who did not interrupt the process. Another bus driver on a poorly lit street, noticed them too late ... The police found near the corpses of the wrapper from the condom with the words "Safe sex saves lives."

Driving on Water

Morning of March 15, 2003 a resident of Bay City (USA), David Manley decided to take a ride on the ice of Lake Michigan. He ignored the warning of the local sheriff that the sharp warming even walk out on the ice is extremely dangerous. Mr. Manley departed from the coast only a few meters when the car crashed through the ice. The driver escaped. But the next day moron decided to go back to the lake. Already on another machine. Of course, she also went to the bottom. At this time the driver.

On the roof of his house

Australian decided to do repairs to the roof of his house. More precisely, something is welded to the roof by means of welding machine. But our hero is faced with a challenge: Balon oxygen strove to slide off the sloping roof. Solving the problem arose immediately and captivating simplicity. To balloon does not slip, man has decided the time to weld it to the roof. This was the recent decision in my life idiot - along with the roof of the house demolished the roof and hapless Australian.

Death on demand

April 12, 2003 ended the life of Tom S., Londoner, who was a real disaster the British railways.

He had a silly habit: if the train did not stop where you need Him, he arranged to stop on demand - pulled emergency brake. Sometimes he was forced to pay the fine, but most got away with his hands. For Transport has stood up very providence. In the same April day Tom has once again pulled the emergency brake and went straight under the wheels of the oncoming train.


Fire, water and copper pipes

Brazilian Manuel Coelho was cleaning the tank fuel tankers. Initially, the tank is filled with water, which displaces the flammable vapors from the gasoline tank. Filled tank for a long time, and our hero went about his business. When he returned, he decided to see how much water had accumulated. But inside the tank was dark. Resourceful Brazilian took advantage of a lighter as a flashlight. The water level was as low as the level of mental abilities Manuel, who gave up the ghost due to damage to a small handful of gray cells, temporarily playing the role of the brain.

Do not cut off bitches

Hawaiian Joshua, 30 years old, the night crept on the ranch, where koa trees grow. For a couple of its branches to offer buyers. Joshua climbed the tree and securing the rope, set to work. Showing the similarity of brain activity, Joshua did not cut the branch on which sat - he took up the one that was on him. Sawed-off piece of juicy venerated the head lumberjack, dissolving him his crazy head. Joshua found this morning hanging from a height of twenty feet from the ground.

korostnoy descent

While on holiday in Italy, 53-year-old Glaswegian wanted thrills. He prisobachil mountaineering carabiner to the rope idle cable car and tried to manually go down. They tried to stop a mad act, but he did not want to listen. Slope of the mountain was very steep and acceleration, which arose when a person slides along the wire, it was monstrous. Slow down is impossible. A few seconds schotlandets overcame a gallant 200 meters and spread over the support lift.

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