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Polite paintballers: who has not got to face the raw eggs and rotten tomatoes? Stand in the queue!

May 10 2005
14:00

Russian officials adopt experience of their Western counterparts and no longer buy expensive suits. Indeed, why? All the same suit your harmonious Cardin from a few thousand bucks will be easy prey for any yaytsemetatelya-enbepeshnika or other "culinary anarchist." It's time to move to second-hand and worn on official occasions KGB leather jackets.

Many of our gosdeyateli already know for its "skin" a taste of political glory. Mayonnaise at one time served, Anatoly Chubais, Boris Gryzlov, Mikhail Zurabov, Alexander Veshnyakov. Served with eggs and Mikhail Kasyanov, and Vladimir Zhirinovsky, rotten tomatoes was "stuffed" Gennady Zyuganov. But the champion, as it should, again, is Zhirinovsky, who, to all other, throwing ice, mud, plastic bottles, and once poured a mixture of wild mustard and ketchup.

So it's better to our polit-beau monde does not go out - obgadyat. But the thing is that even in the quiet of home offices officials no longer feel safe. If you do not ransacked, like the one that committed the "Limonov" the Health Ministry , the chairs and walls painted obolyut accurately. Moreover, no guards and cordons will not help here - food, too, the terrorists are not fools. Recently, a European craftsman distance sighting poured paint an official with a water pistol.

I think there is no need to prove that Russia's realities in terms of culinary terrorism are secondary, rather second-rate. In the world at different times of tortometateley suffered many: the fashion designer Calvin Klein, actor Sylvester Stallone, a businessman, Bill Gates, politics, Tony Blair and Gerhard Schroeder, August personages Carl Gustaf and Prince Charles.

It is known that in Europe the policy of "food paintball" profess many movements: anti-globalists, pacifists, anarchists, Basque terrorists. Does not awake and "green" - that got them "pie in face" Calvin Klein, who is too carried away of leather goods and furs.

However, theirs tortometateli performed a special "cultural nobility." They create a formal motion, such as the Stockholm cake Brigade "," pie - killers "and" biotic baking brigade. " They have the best chefs and cooks, recipes sweetest "bombs" are kept in strict confidence. So what else will come a time when European officials will be inserted in place to communicate with the anti-globalists and then try to lust after each other.

That is, psychologists are advised to use tortometanie as an excellent way of entertainment and stress relief. In Europe, arranged the whole culinary battles reminiscent of tomato festival in Spain, in which all heartily throw each other tomatoes. There's even a whole "food trend" in the art of body art, whose adherents did not draw on the body paint and colored cream, and then, perhaps, lick ...

There are among tortometateley and his genius, like the Belgian Noel Godin, "shoot" of the Bill Gates and, before that writer Margaret Duras, World Bank President James Wolfensohn, International Monetary Fund director Michel Camdessus and ex-Chancellor Helmut Kohl. Gaudin promised "get" and our Mikhail Kasyanov, but somehow he did not get to. Kasyanov or unlucky.

We are all much worse. Anti-globalists, greens and other eccentrics in the afternoon with fire you will not find. Although rare exceptions caught. For example, not so long ago, a British businessman was in a Moscow hotel pie in the face of 17-year-old Anglophobe, fiercely hated all the Anglo-Saxons.

p align = "justify"> It happens that affects not only politics. Say, the presenter Yevgeny Kiselyov , earning a portion of rotten tomatoes from the detractors. Or grandmaster Garry Kasparov, who got a chessboard on the head .

And yet, by Western standards, what's going on with us - savagery, barbarism, the cave age! Local tortometateli great imagination does not possess the quality confectionery nobody watches. And all because they are engaged in "Food terrorism" is practically only one NBP activists. Cooks of them useless, and the leader is too accustomed to the Balanda - not to frills. Now, if the NBP led gourmet Andrei Makarevich, the tasteful and relish everything would be okay.

So you have yaytsemetatelyam-limonovtsa wriggle to the art. For example, the party boss Abel once called their action "modern youth happenings. If so, then we must take in the heads of military wing of a recognized master of art of Vladimir Sorokin and officials to rush to their own feces. Art sometimes requires sacrifice.

Joking aside, but nobody knows, does not go over there tomorrow, these gentlemen of the mayonnaise with the eggs on hand grenades and homemade bombs. And then, for some "happenings" timing yield, and considerable . However, the usual yaytsemetatelyam are soft. For spoiling the festive dresses official in the worst case, faces a fine for disorderly conduct. But the glory will be thundering through the ages!

And yet, as we explain the tree of "political paintball, which is observed in recent years? Perhaps the fact that such antics - it's simple but sure way to earn popularity, to enlist the support of the population. Political show, as you know, like everybody. Fighting in the Duma , flavored mayonnaise, it is easy to "fall on the soul" of the electorate - and soon other policies simply will not. The case for small. It is time to make a day of pie in the Duma and the Hour of the cake in ministerial reception, during which everyone can throw a confectionery irritating bureaucrat.

And politicians need to philosophically relevant. It's a great way to earn extra points, as did Alexander Veshnyakov martyred push from the scene described in the mayonnaise. And it is possible to show "magnanimity" and to forgive his abuser.

Something to think about, and fashion designers - it's time to manufacture Teflon jackets!

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