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Popstars TV: shiftless way to glory

August 21 2010
00:01

14899.jpeg The surest way to satisfy the ambition - to see his face on television. In addition to the normal ways of getting into the TV there are two types of ways to do this: the bad and slow. Electioneering.

Slow path

By choosing this path, it is important to realize that television is a side effect of success in another field. Such a way of "curves".

1. Learn to sing, dance, learn a musical instrument. You can put together a band and perform at college festivals, filling the pauses between the speeches of the rector and vice-chancellor. Settle down at some night club on the heating. If you're lucky, five years to meet a trendy music producer, will enchant and 30-second story in Newsblock MTV or in the Pro-news - yours.

2. Do not learn to sing, dance and play musical instruments. We must find the most fashionable music producer and dumps him a bunch of coins. And as search for a suitable soundtrack, PR-agencies, and shooting of clips - of his concern. If you are lucky, and producer with spin-doctors will not be too moonlight, a couple of years you will see yourself all the same music news.

3. To become an actor / actress. On the tenth attempt to enroll in college theater. Having finished his ten years to play in crowd scenes and scenes of one of the hundred-odd Moscow theater after - get up an appropriate role. If the theater noticeable, the prime minister will come to shoot "Culture News" from the channel "Culture". However, it must be prepared that you will not get the shot.

You can just go to the director or producer of the new series, it is terrible to him please and get at least a small role. Very soon you will see all the housewives of the country, and in primetime. New series start every week.

4. To become a director. On the tenth attempt to enter the theater university or the Film Institute. Having finished it, seal the assistant director or fifth director in the theater. Ten years to fifteen leadership decides that you are already big and will make a separate statement. And you will be shown in "Who's there" channel "Culture", unless, of course, the debut came out decent.

Can you arrange a conceptual basement theater, famous in the narrow circles of performances with real sex, excrement and blood on the scene. After a while you will definitely show or in the "Culture News" or the "delicacies".

Can you write a movie script. You must be unrealistically lucky to found a sponsor. If that happens, you will be happy in "Who's there, maybe even - in the" Magic of Cinema.

5. Become a fashion designer. For a long time must diligently to create a collection of clothes from the category of "do not understand this one." Wait until the press will declare you "Ultra Bartenev. And if any program on fashion shows for your lovely soul. "Fashion non-stop, for example.

6. To become a politician. We must stir up the campaign, go to villages, promising the lonely husbands and wives, beskvartirnym - living space, the disadvantaged - the share. Break into the parliament to carry over the breast and pour orange juice all those who will fall under the arm. And - by-a-la - you're famous. All of your news programs: "Time", "Vesti", "Events," "Today."

7. To become a scientist. Long, complex and thankless road enthusiast and altruist.You need only invent a perpetuum mobile, a cure for cancer or AIDS, and to receive the Nobel Prize. And even then you will certainly show on television, in "Night Flight" cultural channel, for example.


Quick path

By choosing this path, it is important to be careful and picky. I do not recommend them for use. But it's your business.

1. Become an exhibitionist. It is necessary to strip naked, jump in the Manege, Red or Pushkin Square in rush hour and at ease strolling back and forth. About a week later you will notice "on the boulevard with Otar Kushanashvili.

2. To become a revolutionary. We must organize a picket rally or strike with banners "Bush - a bad man." Better yet, grab e-mail, telegraph, telephone. All those same news programs of the central channel - yours.

3. Become a National Bolshevik. Join the party Limonov, captured the President's Reception with colleagues and made a statement to the press. Again, your fate - News.

4. To become a "minority". Join the ranks of gay men and lesbians and a device on the basis of harassment scandal of the rights and freedoms of minorities. Then - "Moscow: instructions for use."

5. Become a hero of a talk show. We must come to the casting in the program "Windows" or similar software and charm editor that you approved for the role. Shake out of him all the nerves at the rehearsal, bring to collapse during the shooting, however, is too zealous not worth it, can then "cut". So, please - "cool, you got on TV."

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