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Jokes ... (July 30, 2009 Issue 3)

July 30 2009
16:13

Comes an intellectual in a restaurant. To him comes the waiter. Important is this:
napkin, notebook, all the beam.
- Me, please, veal chop.
- Well, - writes in a notebook.
- From the dairy calf of 3-4 months.
- Will be done.
- And do the cutting between 5 and 6, an edge, pliz.
- Everything will be at its best - writes ...
- And not along the grain and across it.
- Ok.
- Fry in boiling oil layer ~ 1 cm .. Put on a porcelain
dish ... Garnish with leaf lettuce varieties "Odessa kucheryavets" ... Two
maslinki ...
- Ochchen well. Do.
- Prepare the sauce over the Burgundian harvest 84-year from the east
Slope ...
- Ok.
- ... and apply, please me at a temperature of 60 degrees.
- Application approved. Wait a bit, pliz.
Writes in a notebook, is removed with an important air behind the screen ... And yells
in the kitchen:
- ZIHA! LAHGET - AGAIN!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Lieutenant Rzhevskii comes and says:
- Lord! I have two news for you! One bad and one really bad!
All:
- Let the bad!
Lieutenant:
- The universe is expanding!
All:
- A very bad?
Lieutenant:
- We are still sober!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two monkeys:
- How do you like my new boyfriend?
- Frankly, my friend, apparently he did not liked it. Sorry,
but there is in him something of the man.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Student telegram: "Dad, come out urgently the money!".
Location: The Vatican, the pope.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
With a traveling circus, disaster struck: the roof collapsed tent. Director
Circus cursing:
- What a bastard slipped our elephant snuff?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The man with the red nose brought to the department of prose manuscript, laid on the table
editor. Editor took it, slowly leafing through the manuscript, selectively reads
individual chapters.
- Well, how to print?
- Yes ... Manuscript soundly, you have worked thoroughly lives up to know
the very bottom and, most importantly - the material you just missed
through their own insides.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
We have read your Manifesto.
STATEMENT!
Sir, sir, fancy man, groom, husband and other men!
1. If you doubt it, not too small if you have a salary, may well
be that this is so. Do not ask us, we did not answer. Or
We again remind you of a broken valve or worn brake pads.
2. If you want us to, is enough to say about it. But not immediately and
not-rude.
Understand Finally, we are simple. We love the subtle hints, but when they
backed by deeds.
Shyness and silence are useless frills and payasnichane - too. Strain
their imagination, and tell me what you need.
3. If you ask a question without thinking, do not be surprised ..... and do not be offended.
4. We are also simple. If we smile, looking at you, then you probably
We simply good mood. We are not looking at your shortcomings, we first
looking for dignity.
5. We parted. There is no point asking us what we think. 96,5%
its time women think about men. And about the different.
6. We parted. We are always thinking about you. Nothing wrong with that.
We want you to enjoy. So we think about clothing and handbags and
smells and hairstyles and clothes. And both of your well. Not sprashivate
us, what we think - we think about life and comfort to think of it
for you.
7. Friday, Saturday and Sunday - should be planned. And if
scheduled to friends, can not be football, but if you must
football, then there should be 10 liters of beer, and if beer should be - thenbr /> friends, not with my girlfriends. It is an axiom. Especially in the remaining days
You work.
8. Shopping is not fun - it's work for the brain and the way
improve our mood.
9. If we are anywhere we go, I think where we go and get dressed
respectively.
10. In a world of new car comes once a year, a new processor and several
once a year, cool phones - once a month, and new dresses - each
day. We are worse than you. I so want the news. Whine - not blackmail, it is
a sign of your lack of attention to us.
Your bankruptcy will not out of love for us, but from the appearance of another
new glands.
11. Most men 3 pairs of shoes. And 500 CDs. Where
did you find that we can remember what happened to your purple disc
The pink circles on the end? Especially, if the inside does not drive, and
zanachennye twenty dollars.
12. Simple answers like "yes" or "no" is not enough even to the question -
How much time? Especially for the explanation of where you were gone for five days.
13. If I have any female problems, do not ask you to sympathize with my
girlfriend.
14. Lack of time for 8 weeks - it's not a lack of time.
- I'm leaving!
15. If I said anything that can be understood in two ways, I do not
insatiable manyachka was not going to change you!
16. All the women see the views of men. What is there to watch, to treat
peach ....
17. And what does it do for a car - Lamborghini? You have it anyway, even
have not seen ....
18. We also like beer. You just pick us appropriate.
After all, brands of beer in 324 times more than you have tried.
19. If I ask you what happened, and you say "nothing", not
Sin night that much to drink!
20. Tell us more about love for us, and not to machines that we
prettier than your cell phone, we slimmer than the model in advertising and
Be sure your friend will become a women of your dreams.
21. Basic rule: if a shadow of doubt, no matter what it is
it - choose the truth. After all, we love you!

Please spread this "Statement" among the greatest possible
the number of men, that they finally understood - and understanding of rapport -
different things. Understand each other to simultaneously - as well as
sex.

Please spread this "statement" is also among the most
possible number of women so that they know that there are men who
trying to understand them. Even though it is not always possible

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