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Jokes ... (30 June 2009 Issue 3)

June 30 2009

There are two American soldiers a year after demobilization.
The first in a car in a good suit. Second - in rags, thin and
- I see you prosper? How did you get?
- Very simple. In the army I learned to drive a car. Got a job in the civilian
driver, looked closely at the formulation of business, then went to the bank, took
loan and opened his business, then proceeds to buy a second car, hired
drivers, he only managed.
- Lucky you, I'm here to learn only from the gun to shoot ...
- So what's the problem, go to the bank, take a loan and buy a gun! But I'm in
Bank vouch for you, and orders provided!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The American embassy:
- Give a visa to Israel!
- But it's the American Embassy!
- Damn you, anti-Semites, let us in America!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Mykola spoken to Gali Galia refused.
Mother Ghali comes to mother Mykola (to find out what had happened there -
daughter-nothing said).
Mother Mykola:
- Mikola, come syudy!
- Mother, I'm busy!
- Pod syudy, kazhu!
- Mother, I'm busy!
- Pod syudy!
Mykola comes.
Mother Mykola:
- Mikola, Skidan pants!
- Mamo, Mayte litters! (Ashamed)
- Skydan pants, kazhu!
- Mayte litters!
- Skydan pants!
Mykola takes off his pants.
- Wow!
Mother Mykola:
- CE I'll kazhu "th", and your Gal dyuzhe spoiled!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Squabbled twins in the womb:
- Let's go out.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Father in the kitchen washing dishes. Includes a daughter and asks:
- Dad, what is a bigamist?
- This is someone who washes dishes twice more than I do.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In the Louvre.
- Mona Lisa Smile reminds me of an expression of my wife,
when she thinks I'm lying.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The guy in the museum faces Venus de Milo and the lust
sees it. Approached the boy and stared out at the sculpture.
Man decided to check the level of cultural education of the current
- Boy, you know who this is?
- A prostitute, apparently!
- Well, you see what a woman, men with their hands torn off ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
... No, just telling you: women men with light szhivut.
That dinosaurs became extinct, and lizards ...

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