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Jokes ... (April 30, 2009 Issue 3)

April 30 2009
17:42

A brief guide to sex:
Shove. Pull it off. Repeat if necessary.
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- Have you heard the story of a suicide on the cliff?
- No.
- Well, of course! He tied a noose around his neck, tied a rope to a tree on
cliff, and drank a bottle of poison, jumped off a cliff into the abyss and in the air
shot himself in the head with a pistol.
- Here's a guarantee!
- Certainly not! Shot, he broke the rope and fell into the water, from a fright
it sharply felt sick and he otrygnul all the poison. Remained one hope that
will drown, but some boat snagged his clothing and pulled out
this poor out of the water.
But in the end he still was lucky - he died of cold!
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There are two beggars, and to one another and said -
"Vasek" Borrow a cup of money until Monday ... "
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What is "The Full Monty in English? This is when the gentleman
the music of Sting's slow ... weakens the tie.
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Two men rush in the car, afraid to miss the New Year.
Drive up to the railway crossing.
- You look right - said the driver - and I'll look to the left,
to avoid the train.
A second later there was a roar, and when friends got out of the rubble
the driver said:
- I had to look more and forth, then we would have noticed that the barrier is closed!
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Typically male-talkers:
"The woman before use permission or excuse"
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- Sometimes you drink the king's vodka in the evening and the morning's head - the king's bell.
- Yes, and with the king, a gun is not all right ...
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- Your wife may be a horse at full gallop to stop?
- When she had no makeup, they themselves stand on end.
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- How to say: "In Russia, celebrate a wedding or play?
- In Russia, a wedding thumps!
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2 main laws:
1) All women at least a little bit yeah bitches.
1) All females at least a little bit yes woman.

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