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Jokes ... (April 30, 2009 Issue 1)

April 30 2009

16 reasons why God will never get a professorship.

1. He had only one publication on the topic.
2. It was published in Hebrew.
3. There were no references to other authors.
4. It was not published in the journal with a fairly high index of citing.
5. Some even doubt that he himself wrote it.
6. Perhaps it is true that He created the world, but what he has done since then?
7. His willingness to cooperate was minimal.
8. The scientific community is experiencing serious difficulties with playing
Its results.
9. He never contacted the ethics commission for permission to use
experimental people.
10. When, during one experiment went awry, He tried to
cover it by drowning experimental.
11. When the subjects did not behave as predicted, it excludes them
from the control group.
12. He rarely attended their classes, just told students to read a book.
13. Some say that He sent His Son to teach students.
14. He ruled his first two students for their desire for knowledge.
15. Despite the fact that in his test he gave a total of 10 jobs, most
students failed the test.
16. His consultations were very rare, and usually at the top of the mountain.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
A friend of mine, instead of swallowed Viagra, it chewed.
He died, strangled language.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Newlywed couples have started their honeymoon. All evening and all night from their hotel
Rooms groans and cries, did not stop for a moment and do not let
sleeping neighbors. At six o'clock the young man calls Receptionist:
- Can you serve breakfast to our room? Thank you. What will be the order?
Well, I have to recover after yesterday, so let it be
6 servings of scrambled eggs, 9 sausages, 12 slices of toast and 6 liters
orange juice ... Yes, the appetite for something wild. No, it's just for me!
For my wife? A tack for her six bundles of spinach ... Why? And I want to look,
maybe she eats too, like rabbit!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Medical school. Old professor and a freshman:
- How many sex organs in men do you know?
- Twelve.
- Well, ten fingers, tongue, and actually what you think ...
In the evening, the professor calls his friend:
-, Ivan Ivanovich, I called today, one student already
twelve genital organs of men! Means so - ten fingers,
language, and ... What else?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- How I hate Leo Tolstoy! "War and Peace," written four volumes!
You can be stunned!
- Are you reading?
- Xero! ...

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