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Jokes ... (November 29, 2009 Issue 1)

November 29 2009
05:00

As follows from the regular bulletins MIA, major achievements in the fight against crime continues to belong to the most crime.
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Evening. Eunuch in a harem tidies her small business:
- So ... aha ... Emir yesterday fucking wives No. 4, 12, 18, 23, 25, 40.
So, okay, Sportloto filled ...
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- Grandson, what is the name of Germans, from whom I'm losing my mind?
- Alzheimer's, grandmother's, Alzheimer's.
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- I like to sit with a fishing rod. Silence, peace. If you got a little fish, I let go of it - let grow ...
- What if a sudden large?
- Large I fold into a jar of mayonnaise.
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A young preacher came in a distant village to strengthen the religious establishment of local residents. Especially he spoke zealously anti-smoking women. Once he went into the hut of the old Nancy and saw that she was desperate smokes his homemade pipe.
- Aunt Nancy - he said - that it's time to go to another world. You approach a gate of heaven and ask St Peter to let you go. What do you think he will admit you to heaven, if you dyhnesh to tobacco?
The old woman took the pipe from his mouth and, on reflection, replied:
- A young man, when I go to heaven, then I will no longer breathe.
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Leading marketers of Moscow and Moscow region in the local consumer market generated a strong demand for clean air.
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- I spent ten years on a desert island.
- And what do you live there?
- Hire a boat.
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- Good climate here? - Asked for spa guests from a local resident.
- Very much! When I was brought here, I could not utter a word, did not have a single tooth, even crawl had no strength. And now look what I'm husky!
- It is amazing. How long have you brought here?
- Yes. I just turned a month then ...
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are sitting, they smoke marijuana.
- Look here, Watson! What do you have a strange name - Doctor?
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A young man turns to his newly-made wife:
- Why soup without meat?
- I do not know. I was making exactly the cookbook, which has remained on your grandmother.
- And what does it say?
- "Take the meat for 10 cents ..."

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rivolga 20.02.2010 | суббота ответить

Любитель старины приобрел у парижского антиквара мебельные накладки и кровать, в которой, по утверждению продавца, спала мадам Помпадур. Через несколько дней покупатель снова пришел в лавку:

- Вы утверждали, что на кровати, которую я у вас купил, спала мадам Помпадур. Однако в изголовье я обнаружил документ, из которого явствует, что кровать эта изготовлена для маркиза де Леврие, затем она принадлежала графу Лотреку, потом перешла в собственность герцога Орлеанского и в конце концов попала к Морэйе. Антиквар удивленно пожал плечами.

- Почему же вы думаете, что мадам Помпадур не спала в этой кровати?

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