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Jokes ... (July 29, 2009 Issue 1)

July 29 2009

There are two friends. One asks:
- Why are you so sad?
- You know, was to urinate at night in bed. It is not good so ...
- Do not worry. Put the end of the tube and pipe Bring out the window.
Since man did. Occur in a week. A man in mourning. Each
interested in:
- What happened? Did my advice not helpful?
- Wife passed away. Climbed at night to seek an end and fell out ...
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If you have a cold, put the banks. The assistant to the bank to write down
recipe and half a tin neighbor to fetch medicines.
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20 things that are not worth talking about, parting with the lady:
1. By the way, I'm getting married tomorrow. You're invited.
2. When going out, try not to get stuck in the doorway.
3. I sleep with your mother.
4. It smells as if someone had died.
5. It's about time you take your education.
6. I do not rule out that we again begin to meet. Suddenly you do
plastic surgery?
7. Forgot to tell you: the results of tests for AIDS positive.
8. Better than me you have no one will.
9. Do you, darling, have a unique opportunity for the last time
cook me dinner.
10. The problem is that we both love the same man. And this
person - me.
11. You're too perfect for me: I like the spoiled girl.
12. Worldwide do not find as many bank notes to them to you enough.
13. You gotta go - will soon be "Football Club".
14. While you're still here, give me the number of your friends.
15. Do not cry - you'll look even worse.
16. Viagra can pick up. She told me no longer needed.
17. Maybe, and children at the same time to grab?
18. Mom asked her to return the ring that I gave you.
19. Long ago should have put an end to this tyagomotinoy.
20. All your orgasms, I pretended to.
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A man comes to the doctor:
- You know, Doctor, I have a problem with his wife, an erection is not nearly ...
- Well, my dear, it's now perfectly cured. Here's a recipe
Go right now to a pharmacy, two tabletochki will accept and
see - everything will be fine.
Two weeks later the doctor met this guy on the street and asked - well
both have helped?
- Wonderful, a doctor, just wonderful. Such an erection, so now all
turns out ...
- Well, your wife happy?
- That is not know, I still can not find my house to ...
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There are two men, one asks another:
- What will you do when you know that tomorrow will come "doomsday"?
- Yes, I just start to fuck everything that moves! And what are you gonna do?
- Try not to move!
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Lived there were three little pigs - Nif-Nif, Naf-Naf and Nuf-Nuf. But there was also
fourth. He did not hide from the wolf, the houses are not built, and walked through the woods and
all sent. And his name was Nah-tries ..
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Summer evening, sitting on the bench two. He was "sissy", it "soul boy". Sitting and talking, she moves up closer and closer, he
blush, she puts her head on his knees, he was all red, but to gather
recent strength says:
- No, you do not think I had previously had sex, but with other people -
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God came to the elephant, giraffe and the hen to complain about their fate.
First complains elephant:
- Oh, I already got this trunk, which you gave me! Underfoot
confused, and I look to him as a fool!
- Do not Noah - it's useful for you. They are you and food gathering, and then you can
drink without wetting his feet
Then, to God fits a giraffe:
- Lord, well for what you gave me this very long neck! I am because of her weigh
God knows how much I have always hurt the spine, and people need to
me laugh!
- Do not complain - this neck allows you to easily have the most mature and
tasty fruit, to which nobody else can get.
Finally came the turn of the chicken:
- God, I do not want to complain, but let me or ass will be wider
or smaller eggs.

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