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Jokes ... (June 29, 2009 Issue 1)

June 29 2009
05:23

Received a General Award for Service for the year, well met
on this occasion, dear wife buy a gift jewelry
the product of unprecedented beauty. Gathered, come into the store to choose from.
Eye on a necklace and are suitable to pay for it. There flies the owner
store and clear voice welcomes:
- I wish you health, Comrade General, do not have to pay, a gift
on the house!
He is surprised and says:
- How do you know me? I am also a citizen.
- Yes, I have served you, Lieutenant Ivanov I, you are then I got fired,
Here are unwound, the case was opened.
Well, the general thanked him, went. Goes, and thinks: "money is left,
should his wife a fur coat for the winter to buy. "Come in, choose suitable to the checkout
pay the bill, then flies to the Director of greeting:
- I wish you health, Comrade General, do not have to pay, a gift
on the house.
- Who are you? - Asks the general.
- Yes, I am Captain Doe, I have served you, you got me fired, here's the deal
its opened.
Well, Thank You for the gift, went further, buy the next
store in a major, general dismissed the same Makarov, furniture
new. Well, the general said, his wife go to church, on this occasion
put a candle. Suited to the church, on the porch all the beggars jump,
throw their hands in a military salute:
- Ahoy Comrade General!
That is the end of the gaga says:
- I do that, and you're sacked??
- No, sir! - Answer - we all serve under your command!
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Attending court.
- The defendant, do you plead guilty to the rape?
- No way! I was behind her, and she quietly could
crawl! ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The instructor taught the rookie:
- If an officer or sergeant will order you to jump from the fourteenth floor
you have to jump. You can specify whether
orders, but only after its implementation. This is the essence of democracy in
Army.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In the tax authorities opened a new branch. Called tax
funeral home.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
During the festival Rally
"Say Drugs: We still have not finished VODKA!"
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Nikitich at a crossroads. The inscription on the stone: "No options."
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Was a rabbit hut Bast, while Fox - ice. They are very good friends,
Hare and Fox wrote a letter with his Lubyanka on its Chukotka.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Kashchei very afraid of salmonella. And so he said: "My death is in the egg!"

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