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Jokes ... (November 28, 2009 Issue 2)

November 28 2009

In Moscow, a festival satirists titled "Woe, misery and distress of Russians in the jokes and patter."
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Homeless person comes to the lost and found.
- Purse chance no one would bring?
- What is the sum?
- Well, a hundred and a half I will arrange.
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The owner of a large plant, whose daughter recently married, invites to her son-in and says:
- I love my daughter and for the sake of her happiness, I accept you into their family. And since you are now a member of our family, I give you 50% of its business.
All you have to do now - is to come every day to the plant and carry out the work that I'll be giving.
- At a factory? No way: I can not stand the noise.
- Okay. Then will come into the office and study accounting.
- Oh, how boring things. Sitting all day at one place - it's not for me.
Businessman gets nervous:
- Wait a minute, I gave you half of his business, and you work at the plant do not want to work in an office does not want. What am I to do with you?
- It's very simple - I suggest you buy me my share.
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A man comes to the doctor complaining of insomnia. Patients studied, and did not find anything serious, the doctor says:
- I will spare you from insomnia, but for this you ought to help me.
First of all, you should not go to bed with all your problems.
- It would be a good doctor, but the fact that his wife refuses to sleep alone.
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A young man comes to the mother-in with the dough. Mother-in-law asked:
- What is it you zyatek decided to look to us?
- Yes, my wife had quarreled, and she sent me to hell.
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He sat down at the piano to play Beethoven "Fur Elise." But as his hand was missing a finger, he played "to Lisa."
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The army takes healthy, and ask how to smart.
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The Scotsman says a friend:
- I bought the kids a very beneficial gift - a taxi. They may just stroking her threesome.
- But the tax is so long that walking in the door, it will let in the cold.
- No, she can walk on its hind legs! I still envisaged.
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Conversation two:
- To meet Javdet - do not touch him, he's my ...
- To meet Gerasimos - touch it - it is dumb ...
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In a glass of vodka, an optimist sees 40% alcohol, and a pessimist - 60% water ...

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golushko 03.03.2010 | среда ответить

Японский турист, прилетев в Москву,делает заказ такси и едет смотреть Останкинскую башню. По дороге их обгоняет мотоцикл. Японец трогает таксиста за плечо и радостно говорит:

- Мотто "Кавасаки"- очень быстро... Made in Japan! Через некоторое время таксиста обгоняет иномарка. Японец: - Авто "Тайота"- очень быстро... Made in Japan! И так всю дорогу. Наконец, они подъезжают к Останкинской башне, и таксист говорит :

- Пожалуйста, с Вас 500 долларов.

Японец: - Ой! Почему так дорого?

Таксист, ухмыляясь: - Так ведь счетчик - очень быстро... Made in Japan!

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