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Jokes ... (November 28, 2009 Issue 1)

November 28 2009
05:52

- Honey, I have a surprise for you: how about we go on holiday as a cultured people?
- And what did you decided not to go?
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- What do you think about the last concert Kirkorov?
- Well, what can I say ... Soundtrack is getting old.
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Rides KamAZ guy on the highway at a speed of 100km / h. Suddenly notice a sign with a warning that after 100 meters the road completely dug. He presses on the brakes - do not work! It is necessary to move aside.
Looks right - there is a huge shopping mall. Carrier thinks: "If you go there will be dozens of dead!" Looks left - there is only one little boy ... The driver decides to go to the left ...
The next day, newspapers carried the headlines: "Driver" Kamaz "lost control. The result - dozens of dead!"
At trial, ask the driver:
- What do we say?
He answers:
- I soberly assess the situation and decided that in this situation it is better to move to a kid than many people ... But this asshole have to necessarily run in the direction of the shopping center!
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From across the country gathered the best minds of the president in his team. Trains and planes arrived in the capital from St. Petersburg overcrowded.
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The park sits an elegant man in a suit and tie, glasses on his nose, and greedily eat a sandwich. Above him a bitch sit two sparrows and reason.
One says:
- Let's wait another couple of minutes ... If it is we do not crumble, then it will have to meet us on the other hand ...
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The two wander through the desert. Went the second day, running out of the last forces ran out of water. One asks the other:
- You think - we will be saved?
- Yes, for sure!
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Kangaroo:
- Have two children, I can not afford!
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Family Trilogy
Mother-in-law comes home and tells in-law:
- To get me a ticket to Sochi. That put me at the station and can then relax.
- I'm happy for you, mom. Collect the suitcase and go.
- No, you're not listening - the train only a week later.
- What are you, Mom! Sooner rather than late!
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Mother-in-law calls from Sochi in-law:
- Are you for me not to worry. I'm all good. Flooding has already ended.
- That is how it is - has already ended?!
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Mother-in-law returned from Sochi. Meets her son and said from the doorway:
- Mom, you probably do not have time to rest well. Yesterday I went to Shatura and risked his life to get you a burning permit in the forest rest house. I hope you get lucky and you will see near another magnificent natural phenomenon.

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