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Jokes ... (28 July 2009 Issue 1)

July 28 2009

A man comes to the post office to send a parcel. In the hall - no one person
and priemschitsa reads the newspaper. A man turns to her:
- I would like ...
- Man, stand in the queue!
And he continues to read the newspaper.
- Excuse me, but here ...
- Man, I tell you that it is not clear say? Stand in a queue!
Reads the newspaper on. Then a man got angry and how to spit in her face.
- What do you mean yourself pozovlyaete, swine! Now call the police!
- And why do you think it was me? Look at how many here people!
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Once when I was little, my grandmother went into the outdoor cafe under
outdoors to dine. Then it began to rain. I took three
hours to finish his soup.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Plasterer whitens the wall in the monastery. Suddenly he sees a group of nuns
suitable wall, removes her white cloth, and under it - an iron member
sticks. What will they do next, I think, is clear. The next day - the same
thing. On the third day plasterer pulled from the wall of this "tool" itself
stood up against the wall instead. Nuns came as usual and do not substitute
noticed. This continues for several days. Then the plasterer told about
that his friend and offered him the most fun on Friday. In
On Saturday, this one comes to him evil and says:
- What, could not warn me that on Friday they did a file
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A man skiing on one ski resorts. Unexpectedly
rising storm, yes, such that about absolutely nothing in sight.
A guy goes at random. After some time the storm subsides, the man looks
around and sees nothing but snowdrifts. He goes on - the same thing
lost it shorter. Suddenly he saw something dark against the snow
snowdrift. Coming closer, he discovers that the door and knocking on
her. From behind the door, a child's voice asks:
- Who?
- I camper ... A mom at home?
- No, my mother came before the Pope came.
- So, my father at home?
- No, Dad went before entered his sister.
- Well, my sister's home?
- No, my sister came out before I went.
- What do you mean, are never all in? Well, the house!
- Yes, it's not a house, a toilet.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Here you wrote the last sentence dictation. What you need to put
at the end?
- Five.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Vovochka how plants reproduce?
- Plants? That's about it, I just do not know ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The father asks his son-Roma-Gypsy:
- Go for a cigarette.
- Give me the money.
- For the money, and a fool will.
Son goes, comes back, throws his father pack of cigarettes. That opens up - she
- So it's empty!
- So full and smoke a fool.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Attending party meetings.
- Ivanov, you're fucking a goat?
- Yes.
- Membership card on the table. Sidorov, you're fucking a goat?
- Yes.
- Membership card on the table. Rabinovich, you're fucking a goat?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
According to statistics, every 20 seconds a person eats a plum. I do not know
Who is this man, but guess where you can find it.

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