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Jokes ... (March 28, 2009 Issue 3)

March 28 2009
16:07

Granddaughter:
- My grandmother, and when a person dies, what happens to him?
Grandma:
- Well ... he turns into dust ...
Puzzled granddaughter takes a few minutes and resorted to ofonarelymi
eyes:
- Grandma !!!!! Under your bed deceased !!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Dad and son lying on the beach and floating in the water, mother-in-law begins to sink.
Son:
- Daddy, Daddy, look, our baushka hands waving!
- Well, son, and thou her Weave, or what!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Wedding night. The groom leads the bride into the bedroom.
- You know, dear, it's good that you did not gave me before the wedding.
I must confess, otherwise, I would, perhaps, for you are not married.
- And then I did not know? How many guys have me so kidanulo until I
not figured out what was going on!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Is a man on the street with a gun. He was asked:
- Where are you going?
- For mother-in for his birthday. Gift purchased: Earrings.
- And why the gun?
- A hole in the lobes do.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Can zapazitsya AIDS chepez seat tyaleta?
- You can, if you sit on it before it will rise ppedydyschy papen.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The behavior of men and women when shorten my finger ...
Woman:
Thinks: "Oh!".
Puts his finger in his mouth to blood is not dripping on the floor.
The other hand pulls the patch from the medicine cabinet, and is continuing its paste
classes.
Man:
Yells: "Shit!".
Disqualify himself from the arm.
Turns the other way, because I can not see the blood.
Calls for help.
At this time the carpet is formed indescribable spot.
Falls into a chair, because he somehow wrong.
While behind him runs a trace, like a wounded animal.
Calls for assistance to those suffering from voice, as if cut off his whole arm.
Rejects the proposed patch, since convinced that it is too
small for such a huge wound.
While she was running to the drugstore for a large plaster gets into medical
Guide to find out how much blood may lose the normal adult
without risk to life.
With heroic expression on his face lets stick his patch.
Wants to chop dinner, in order to accelerate the formation of red blood
cells.
While she quickly fry the meat, he carefully laid on the couch.
Requires urgently a couple more bottles of beer from the terrible pain.
Unstick the patch to see if more blood flows as she searches for a beer.
Presses wound up until it again zakrovotochit.
Then throws accusations that the patch was not quite firmly glued.
Groans when she carefully separates the old plaster and sticks a new one.
Because of this injury can not, unfortunately, to go with her to the movies, and comforted
accidentally going at this time on TV Cup Football Match
champions.
During this time she scour the stain with a carpet.
All night he regularly crawls out of bed to the bathroom again to view
suspicious red stripes, which should mean a blood infection,
and so the next morning gets sleepy and ugly mood.
Time off from work for two hours to go to the doctor and make sure that
blood poisoning there.
Drags from the medicine cabinet firm bandage can pretty blonde -
secretary to wrap his hand, reveling in this case its sympathy.
In this spirit he meets in the evening with friends and says proudly that
should not talk about such trifles !!!!!

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