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Jokes ... (June 27, 2009 Issue 2)

June 27 2009

What is the difference between the intelligentsia, workers and cops?
- Work washes his hands before the Scriptures, after the intellectual, and instant in time.
What is the difference between machine and groom?
- If you fuck your car, you notice it right away!
The difference between a blonde and a Ferrari?
- Friends of Ferrari does not lend!
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Gathered the king at his palace in all comers to marry his daughter.
Among the other contenders and was Ivan the Fool, on crutches after
yesterday's fight, face is crooked, filthy, nechesan, reeks of vodka. And he said
King, that those who correctly answer all his questions, he will be the groom.
- So, first question: What on earth is softer all?
The most intelligent answers: - Ladoshka under the head when you sleep.
And Ivan says: - Member of impotent.
- For the second question: What on earth is sweeter than all?
The most intelligent: - Sleep.
Vanya: - Multiple Orgasm.
- Well, - said the king - the last question: What on earth is steeper all?
The most intelligent: - Wall of your castle, the king-father!
Vanya: - an erect penis of Ivan the Fool on the morning dawn.
- So, - sums up the king. - All questions correctly answered the most
smart. He and the princess as his wife.
Then the princess looked down and said:
- And could not we, papa, take another one over there, on kostylikah -
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A husband and wife during a visit to the White House accidentally met
president. Husband, the courage, he turned to the president, showing
him a camera:
- Mr President, I was really embarrassed, but you can not make it more difficult?
- No, really, please ...
- Then take a picture, please, my wife on the front of the White House.
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On the tenth anniversary of the wedding couple to travel to
Germany. Driving through the Black Forest, they saw the sign has
"Well Wishes". They is stopped at the well, read the instructions
after which the husband makes a wish and throw a coin into the well. Wife
stooping over the well to also toss a coin, loses his balance,
falls and drowning. The husband, returning to the car, said to himself:
- It is necessary, but it really works!
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- What do you eat?
- Herbs, roots ...
- And what?
- Right now show you the spine.
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What makes a blonde chicken?
The hen is sitting quietly on the eggs.
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How to have sex in order not to have children?
Send them to the grandparents.
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Sitting at the bar beasts. Suddenly the hare opens the door a kick, fit
the lion and said:
- Come on, come on.
- Come on.
After a while the lion is back - covered in blood, with the muzzle
scratched. Surprised by the beasts ask:
- So what?
- Well, who knew that he would run for gooseberries?
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Finally, scientists have discovered the secret of longevity urchins. It turns out that
no secret. Yes, and they live, in fact, not long ...

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