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Jokes ... (July 24, 2009 Issue 3)

July 24 2009

The soldier turned to his commander with a request for leave because of
illness of his wife.
- I would not refuse you, Private Smith, - the colonel said - but
The fact that I just received a letter from your wife in which she
Requests to be to you posnishoditelney and at the same time said that he feels
just fine.
The soldier saluted, turned and headed for the door. On the threshold he
stopped and turned to the chief, said:
- In our regiment, sir, there are two desperate liar. And one of them - I
because I'm not married.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
At 4 am an old woman calls the police, she meets a sleepy attendant:
- Hello, we here at home in front of suspicious persons. With black
- So what if my head is also a beard. And a mustache.
- But they have slot machines.
- And you look povnimtelnee - they fit?
- Yes.
- You see, this is probably the police.
- But they have something dumped in the basement.
- A-ah, it is then the FSB. They have these ... how to ... teaching probably again.
- But they have the green bandage on his forehead.
- And what you want, it's a serious organization - all thoroughly thought through.
Uh-uh, but you let me dictate the number of their car just in case.
- T34
- Nothing else is written?
- No ...
- Then leave now.
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- Do not paw me!
- And what does not touch the beautiful??
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Doctor, my husband absolutely crazy - screaming that nob!
- All the time shouting?
- No, only when naklyuetsya.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Are two lice. To meet them a third.
- Where are you going?
- By Pete?
- Follow best to Basil. He has a long and dirty hair. And Pete - bald.
- Vasya we live. A walk to Petya be engaged in figure skating!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Chukchi with bloated cheeks, sits at the hole with a rod.
Suitable other Chukchi:
- Teeth hurt, though?
- Worms frostbite, though!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The little boy says:
- Mom, does Dad have a cow?
- No, where did you get?
- He told our maid that her figure is better than that of his cows.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Do you like Kohl?
- No! But of all the men I did not like, he's the favorite.

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