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Jokes ... (23 July 2009 Issue 2)

July 23 2009

A very shy young man in a bar drinking a few beers, and after a while it itch, it is clear where. He goes to the toilet, and there - only one urinal. Only he, therefore, was attached as the door opened and the toilet comes with a hefty bull mug felon and stands directly behind him. The guy feel uncomfortable trying to
start a conversation:
- What is your name?
Ambal tsedit through clenched teeth:
- Nogin Vasya.
Then the young man fell unconscious. Rousing himself, he sees before him bending Ambala and then asks:
- How do you say your name?
- Nogin Vasya!
- Thank God! And then I really heard: "bent!"
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There are two Frenchmen.
- How are you?
- Yeah, so lately I fatally unlucky. Recently, a ride in a car a girl and ... Generally she accused me encroachment at its sexual inviolability. Today was in court I was sentenced to a fine of 150 francs. So it's not all - when the judge saw it, he fined me another 200 francs for drink driving.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
A woman in the pharmacy. See, but there "Tampax" for £ 1.50. bundle,
and asks:
- And what's the catch, they're so cheap?
- No threads, - responsible vendor.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Girl comes home and says:
- Mom! The boy gave me 10 rubles for the fact that I'm in a tree povisela.
- Durochka thou durochka he thy panties watched.
The next day:
- Mom! The boy gave me $ 100 for what I have on the tree povisela!
- You little fool a fool, he watched your panties.
- I put the panties in his pocket!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- You're not a girl, Malvina! - Outraged Piero first nuptial night. -
And who managed to break it to you?
- Pinocchio, you moron. I enter I recently in storeroom while he there darkness fours creeps output seeks. Well at least not standing up, as if no eyes left!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two friends:
- I saw you yesterday with a woman with a rather piquant situations.
- Yes it was my wife!
- Ah ... Thank goodness, because I was afraid for you. Which, I think, he should have his wife that he was willing to change it with this ugly.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Man comes to the doctor.
- Doctor, register me something alopecia.
- Here is a great tool. Take it 3 times a day, a month
A month later, a terrified man resorted to the doctor.
- Well, how are we doing?
- Doctor, on his head intact, but here on the ass so began to grow - a hurricane!
- Everything is normal, will come in a month.
There comes a guy in a month.
- Doctor, that you gave me? The hair on the ass already to his knees!
- All right, come a month later.
There comes a guy a month later, angry as hell.
- Bl @, but what you gave me such? The hair on the ass to have sex
and on his head no volosochka not grown up!
- Oh, fine, but now start upsweep on his bald head!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Do not tell how to get to the area of "Three Freaks"?
- Vaughn seest pub Penguin?
- I see!
- After his svernesh the corner pub will be "Alligator", then after turning left - bar Krepysh ", then at the end of pub street" Blue
Lagoon ", then you will pass before turning and you will see a bar" Mouth Sperm Whale. "That
so, a mug for a mug and will leave on the area of "Three Freaks".

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