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Jokes ... (November 22, 2009 Issue 3)

November 22 2009

Disqualified player Petrov, who during a football match on the wall constructed by rivals wrote bad words.
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A man reads a newspaper, "As a result, gangster shootouts in the restaurant killed the waitress." Says his wife:
- Boring, perhaps, your mother sit at home all day. Maybe she get a job?
- Who can it get?
- Yes, anyone, even a waitress ...
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- A man lost in the concert hall "Minsk" gold watch with diamonds, it says - half-past seven.
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It would be nice to be an elite cat. Fluffy, a thoroughbred expensive. Thick, imposing and lazy. Naturally, no shit do not. All caressed and cherished. Protects against all adversities. For you elite food, expensive shampoos and the best cats. Only negative, the welfare and happiness. What could be better? You - minion, minion of fortune. One thing confuses me in this heavenly dream: from time to time have yourself to lick ass.
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The world survived, not because he laughed, but because it paid.
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DICTIONARY bachelor.
AVTOSTOPSCHITSA - a very pretty girl in a miniskirt, voting on the road, when you go from the worst of your girlfriends.
Marriage - the union of two people to jointly overcome problems that would have had no, do not be in this union.
DRESSING ROOM - a place where clothes hang, when all the door handles are busy.
WOMAN - a set of curves required to obtain a straight line.
Dating - Phrases, addressed to those female and employed to organize the next evening, such as:
- Sorry, girl, I see the bad, and it seemed to me that the label on your shirt is done in Braille.
- Do you feel that one magical power, which was to bind us? Not here, below.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or we'll keep wasting time?
Easy Virtue - Property girl professing men's morale.
ORAL SEX - stories of his friends about their sexual advances, alleged.
JUST A FRIEND - a girl that has something completely discourages her sleep.
Frustration - a feeling that appears when running ahead of a girl with amazing legs suddenly turns back.
WHEELBARROW - your car, which sounds publish all the details, but radio and whistle.
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Another injection into the economy turned out to be all the same enema.
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TV debate goes. After each speaker sincerely represents the leading parties:
- Thank you for taking the opportunity to come to us. But, unfortunately, we still have less and less time. You see, television time is expensive, and we set aside the transfer of only thirty minutes.
In just thirty minutes. Although, I think, no, there - I think I just convinced that all we could not be said for forty minutes and fifty minutes. Even for an hour, we would not have expressed our esteemed viewers of all that could make it or share it with them, our dear viewers, the most cherished. Therefore, I ask all members of our popular transmission short, lapidary, concisely, so to speak. Well, now listen to the calls of our valued viewers. What? Call no? Something with the connection, it is clear we have not ...Yes, it's time to finish our very popular TV ...
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Since the dollar is about 31 rubles, then in the afternoon you can spend as many rubles, how many dollars you earn in a month.
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At the suburban station of the train leaves the woman and asked a passer-boy bring her suitcase. Front of the gate giving it gives him a small coin, which the boy takes the silence.
- Do not you know what they say are well-bred boys, when they are given a coin for the delivery of a suitcase? Why are you silent?
- I was too well bred to utter these words.

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