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Jokes ... (September 21, 2009 Issue 2)

September 21 2009

And do not proclaim Michal Sergeitch war drunkenness, people would still drink to his health.
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Night, in the light of a street lamp, two young redneck busily poking around in old zhigulenke, but it can not make. From the corner of the house there is a sad old man approaches the car and inquiring looks at the rednecks.
Some of them are interested in:
- What, old tree stump, the keys brought? Come on!
Dzyadok (pulling out because of sinus CT, sadly):
- No, guys, you go in the trunk ...
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Women as a Web server:
400 Bad Request - a date without a bouquet
401 Unauthorized - married
402 Payment Required - dinner by candlelight
403 Forbidden - hands off!
404 Not Found - today I walk with girlfriends
405 Method Not Allowed - Nah, not with Zadie ....
406 Method Not Acceptable - ... just do not suck!
407 Proxy Auth. Required - must ask my mother
408 Request Timeout - you know how much you have not called?
409 Conflict - it was there for blonidinka yesterday?
410 Document Removed - I want a divorce
411 Lenght Required - what? Do you call this long?
412 Precondition Failed - what? you do not have a condom?
413 Request Entity Too Large - this one does not fit!
415 Unsupported Media Type - her four interesting
500 Internal Server Error - Monthly
501 Not Implemented - have never tried
502 Bad Gateway - ... thanked, salty!
503 Service Unavailable - headache
504 Gateway Timeout - this is all?
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Prices for services system administrator
Dealing with the question: $ 10
Appeal with a stupid question: $ 20
Appeal with a stupid question that you can not clearly
formulate: $ 30
The assumption about my incompetence from what I can not understand your inaccurate description of the problem: $ 1000 + kick
Question received by phone before you used HELP'om: $ 10
Questions whose answers are in the User's Guide: $ 100
Appeal to me again after I've already solved this problem: $ 100
If you insist that the program did not break, but the problem comes from my actions: $ 200
Please come to you through the entire building to solve the problem: $ 5/shag
Please go to another city to solve the problem: $ 35/km + petrol
If you interrupt me when I decide to someone else's problem: $ 45/chas
If you hang over my soul and the need to solve your problem now: $ 50/chas
If you expect me to tell you how I solved the problem: $ 60/chas
If you come to me to ask why something is not working, and I now
dealing with this problem: $ 70/chas
If you ask me to solve the problem that I solved for you yesterday: $ 75/chas
If you ask me to solve the problem, about which I said that I solved it yesterday, but was never going to do it: $ 85/chas
If you ask me to fix "patch", which I did, but that does not work: $ 95/chas
If you're pestering me at the moment when the room is another administrator who can do it for you: $ 150/chas
Force me to get to your office to solve your problem, and leave him as soon as you hang up: $ 1500
Call me about a problem that has "everyone" in the office and that "to stop all work, and to be absent from the place when I rushed to look, and nobody else in the office does not know what the problem is: $ 1700
Explain the problem within 1 / 2 hours on the phone, and then notice that it's your personal machine at home: $ 500
Self-diagnosis and an indication that I need to do: $ 150
If I caught you for the repair, which I asked you not to do: $ 300br /> Do not pass all of your colleagues what I warned you: $ 850
Found that you were referring to a floppy disk when referring to hard: $ 50
AFTER ordered the hard drive replacement: $ 250
Correction of your "broken" mouse with pad: $ 25
Correction of your "broken" optical mouse by rotating the pad at 90 degrees: $ 35
Fix "broken" mouse by washing the wheels: $ 50
Correction of your "broken" printer replacement ink / toner cartridge: $ 35
Correction of your "broken" WHAT UGODHO with the power button: $ 250
Correction of your "shattered" the system by powering an external drive: $ 200

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