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Jokes ... (June 21, 2009 Issue 1)

June 21 2009

In Russia smokes every second man and every sixth woman, so that
if you smoke, then sort it out yourself who you are, the second man or a sixth
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In the convent break three bullies and say:
- Now we will all take turns fuck!
One of the newly arrived nuns overshadows all others and
- Lift me, but I beg you, do not touch anyone else!
- Sister Mary, do not be so selfish!
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One woman, who did not manage to get pregnant, says her
friend who has the same problem:
- Remember Lenka, who is also not pregnant? So, she says,
that spent a week in a monastery, and now she's pregnant!
- Really? Can not be!
- It's true. She says that she prayed all week, and the prayer "Ave
Maria helped her!
- That's right, and we go to this monastery.
The next day they come knocking at the gates of the monastery, and they
opens up a nun. Her friends tell her:
- Sister in your monastery has recently been our friend Elena, who
could not get pregnant, and she said she helped "Ave Maria."
- No, it's not "Ave Maria" and the Lord's Prayer, but he is now on vacation.
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The instructor is giving a lecture at school of drivers:
- Wood, fellow students, it is a plant that twenty years
can stand in one place, and then suddenly turns right in front of
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The first tourist, Dennis Tito, astronaut, on returning from space, giving an interview.
He asked:
- What Russian phrases you have learned during the flight?
- "Thank you" "please" and "Where are you bastard hands suesh"!
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Vegetarians do not eat animals.
Those bastards eat around them.
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"I wonder what he would say when he finds out?"
- Honey, it seems, you will soon become the Pope!
- Who do you nayabednichal? Nothing I have with my secretary was not there!
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The father tells his son:
- Son, if thou wanker, go blind!
- Dad, well I can do that, at least until such time as
when I need glasses?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two gay. One friend says:
- Well, let's go fuck?
- No, I can not wait for the guy with the army!

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