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Jokes ... (March 21, 2009 Issue 3)

March 21 2009

- Vasily Ivanovich, what is Bob?
- I do not know Petya. Probably something that is associated with women.
- And here it is written, it's Downhill ...
- Well, I'm there and say that the women connected!
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1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: In the womb of three children.
Ugly: You had an operation for ligation of the spermatic cord three years ago.
2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.
3. Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: started an affair with an elderly neighbor.
Ugly: You too.
4. Good: Your son spends a lot of time in his room.
Bad: He's in the room you find hidden porn.
Ugly: You're in some of them.
5. Good: Your husband has finally agreed - no more kids!
Bad: Can not find the pill.
Very bad: They took your daughter.
6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: You find that he secretly puts your things.
Ugly: He is, they are better than you.
7. Good: You spend a talk on the stamens and pistils with his daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting you ...
Ugly: ... and straightens.
8. Good: In your son's first date.
Bad: With a man.
Ugly: Who is your best friend.
9. Good: Your daughter got a job immediately after the institute.
Bad: as a prostitute.
Very bad: Some of your colleagues - her clients.
Too bad: She makes more money than you.
10. Good: Reading all the above, you are laughing.
Bad: You know people with similar situations.
Very bad: One of them - you.
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- What beautiful feet you have, one more beautiful than the other!
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Declamation headmistress at the graduation:
- We are here to conduct our graduates in the last journey ...
Pause. Bewilderment in the audience. Headmistress:
- Excuse me ... Ha big way!
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Every woman has a little secret.
Man it is desirable to have more.
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- How did you managed so drunk last night?
- Hechem was a snack.
- What money is not enough for a snack?
- No, the teeth povybivali ...
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Programmer comes home to his cat runs up and starts
hard domain, licking his hand, murchat etc.
The wife saw it and asked:
- What is it suddenly happened to the cat? What does she hand a lick?
- As what? Mousy smell ...
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A student comes home for the holidays:
- Mom! At last something I had a boy.
- Fine. And where he is studying?
- What do you mean, he's only a month.
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A lady comes to vpachy:
- Doktop, I'm here peshila ppoyti ppofilakticheskoe medication, tell that to me
to treat?
- Hy, for starters, should go to kosmetology, due to poor appearance you a lot
Money tpatite on kosmetiky.
- Yes, you sovepshenno p.paveye.
- Also go to dietology, y have a lot of excess weight.
- Kho.posho.
- Yes! And go check if zpeniya.
- And this is with what you have?
- Yes y me dve.p large bykvami says "VETERIHAR!

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