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Jokes ... (March 21, 2009 Issue 2)

March 21 2009

Êàî, one man became acquainted with chick and she prglasila him home.
Came, drank and went into a bedroom. And then all well, just filled up with plush
cubs. Small on the shelf, the average on the chairs, and large scattered
on the floor. Well, they took affair ended, and the dude says:
- Well, how did you like?!
Gerlach, lighting:
- Take your prize from the shelf!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Cuprugi sit at the bar. To my husband comes a girl kisses him and leaves.
Angered by his wife asks:
- And who is that?
- Oh, come on - the man. - And so I have to work hard
to explain who you are.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
From an explanatory speech on the divorce process:
"Tired of going to the indelible shirts, trousers and greasy
pants with holes: ashamed to undress in front of another woman! "
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There is a Sunday sermon at the church. Suddenly there was thunder,
flash and the smoke came Satan. Huge, scary and
with horns. All immediately went into hiding in fear under a bench, but
one Granddaddy. The Devil came closer and said, spewing reek of
- Do you know who I am?!
- Of course!
- And You Do not you afraid?!
- Not a bit! I am 36 years old married to your sister!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Rides guy on a tractor on the river bank, he sees - stands in the middle of the river
girl in knee-deep in water.
- What are you waiting for?
- Yes here, the machine jammed.
- So where is she?
- Yes here, I'm on her roof and standing ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two friends.
- I heard - you got married?
- Yes.
- Well, how? Husband's love?
- Of course! I generally like men ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Two women talk about their husbands:
- First, he quit drinking, then quit smoking, then threw me ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
At work, always give 100%!
12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday
20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday!
And remember when the boss comes over to you, then you need
strain 42 muscles to frown and only 4
to straighten the middle finger!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Hacker sits with his little girl in the room, behind a computer hacker, a girl on a chair.
A hacker is doing something, and the girl wants to get his attention:
- And here yesterday under the windows of a UFO hovering ...
Hacker (not looking up from the company):
- I had to put UNIX, under the windows all hang ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
How do I know that the blonde was working on a computer?
Monitor is turned off in the slot drive stuff 25-tsentovik,
next to the mouse is a piece of cheese, and the joystick stretched a condom!

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