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Jokes ... (Oct. 20, 2009 Issue 2)

October 20 2009

Moishe comes to Abram, who rents rooms in his house, chooses one and asks:
- How much you should withdraw this room?
- I have a flat rate of 10 cents per square decimeter per month.
The size of this room - 10 sqm. m. We believe: in one apartment. 100 sq. meter.
decimeters of 1000 square meters. decimeters get $ 100 a month.
- And if I'm with my wife and two children?
Abram by such a prospect, to put it mildly, not amused, so to shake off, he says:
- Then the tariff rate is squared - while believing that pay 100 cents ($ 1) per square meter. decimeter Moishe will never agree.
However, Moishe, strangely enough, agrees. Though Abram is a neighborhood and not happy, but the desire to get $ 1000 instead of $ 100 was quite large.
But then Moshe adds:
- Abram, only money I can give you no earlier than a month.
Abram, first, of course, in any disagrees, but still Moshe miraculously manages to convince him that the money he will give a guarantee.
A month later, when the hour of reckoning, Moishe gives Abram $ 10. Abram:
- What are you giving me? Are you assume do not know how? 10 cents squaring, we obtain 100, which is $ 1. A square. decimeters get 1000, so should you give me $ 1000!
- Oh, you shmuck! Yes you who want to cheat? Should be considered fair: 10 cents - is 0,1 $. 0.1 squaring - get $ 0.01, that is one cent.
Now multiply the resulting rate for 1000 square meters. decimetres, and we get $ 10! Are not you ashamed to cheat honest people!
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If all you need to peasants - it is sex, why there are not too many people wishing to become a porn actor?
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New Year's Stalin. Stalin stands up and says:
- Something neveselo, tovaryschi. Davayte Try playing in ygru.
All, knowing the character of Stalin, agree. And Stalin said:
- Let's Play the case. Here, tovarysch Beriya on what letter starts your famyliya?
- The letter B, Comrade Stalin.
- Right! And bezymyanny palets tozhe with the letter B. Otrezhim tovaryschu bezymyanny palets!
- And on what letter your famyliya, tovarysch Molotov?
- The letter M, Comrade Stalin.
- Right! And mizinits tozhe with the letter M. Otrezhim tovaryschu mizinits! And what is tovarysch Nykita Sergeevich Khrushchev such bledny?
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Hearse stopped at the stop. Leave a few people ... one go. Refers to the driver:
- And on the sofa, how much?
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According to statistics, in the Vatican, home to about two popes per square kilometer.
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Hunt three matstatistika. Suddenly the hare runs.
The first shoots and gets to 10 inches to the left.
The second shoots and gets to 10 inches to the right.
The third says: "OK, hit!"
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- What is futures trading in the Stone Age?
- Exchange of the two axes on the skin have not yet killed the bear.
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This is my hand ... This is her hand ...
So begins the monument "Worker and Collective Farm."

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