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Jokes ... (Oct. 20, 2009 Issue 1)

October 20 2009

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"Dear Maria Ivanovna telegram received on your arrival. Wait. Everything else is good. Your loving son."
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The guy the first day at the beach - happy to fucking. Goes to the beach, watching - naked girl lying down and tans. Guy encompasses paralysis, jaw slowly slipping on the sand. A girl raises her head languidly and asks:
- Newbie?
- Aha!
- I told you not to give?
- Do not ...
Maid of the twists and pokes a big fig guy:
- ON!
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- Hello, my friend, are you? How are you? I called you here on any matter.
We invited guests, and suddenly it became clear that we do not have a salt-cellar. You do not help out? Can you? Excellent! By the way, I need and knives.
I almost forgot - forks and tablespoons, I have you too gladly would have taken. Perhaps I'll lend you the whole set for 24 guests! Do you mind? Well, well! And how are you things with chairs?
Only 16 pieces? Not enough - I invited 24 people. I'll have to take your seat and ... I'm due to this dinner for two nights not sleeping, the wife demanded that I at least out of the ground pulled the carpet ... What are you talking about?
Your Persian rug, you feel sorry for him to give ... But I'm like no, I know your kindness and absolutely sure that you have me help out and lend a mat on a day or two. Speaking of music! You seem to have a tape recorder?
So, my friend, I congratulate you on the upcoming holiday! Excuse me for not inviting you to yourself, you know - just nowhere! Hello!
Hello! Oh, cut off! Well, my wife, run a truck cab!
- Butterfingers! Why you have not asked him, maybe he will agree to take our guests at home?
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- I hear you've been divorced from his wife?
- Yes. And I got kids.
- A house?
- Genet.
- And the money?
- Lawyers.
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There are many ways to be a fool, but any fool always choose the worst one.
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Santa Claus:
- Hello dear detishechki! We are the Snow Maiden come to you from the North. For a start, we planned to contest poems. You will read poems, and win first one to bring a corkscrew.
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The priest, recently to join a golf comes to the ground and begins to search for a partner. Suddenly he sees a guy in a T-shirt and shorts, with a stick in his hand and offers to play for a couple with him. He agrees. During the game, the guy always tells the priest how to properly hold a club, how to put a blow, the force with which to beat, etc.
By the end of the party the young man says to the priest:
- With your $ 100 - I am a golf instructor and I give lessons here. I have a tax of $ 50 per hour, with you, we were engaged in two hours.
The priest had tried to protest but to no avail. Then he says:
- I do not have with him the kind of money go to me for them in the church, preferably with their parents.
- And this is why?
- At the same time they get married!
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News of nature.
Yesterday on the Atlantic coast Mayyamskoe threw a pack of 50 Cubans. The immigration office trying to find out what made these cute and innocent inhabitants of the island of freedom to make such a reckless act.

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