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Jokes ... (July 20, 2009 Issue 3)

July 20 2009

Poster in gynecology:
"Doctor!" Not having the proper grip, do not you dare touch the cervix! "
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The first sign of pregnancy - when it is sick in the mornings
and the lessons do not want to.
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The American program to launch into space supernavorochennyh
spy satellites that can detect the earth-sized object
baseball, ended in complete failure - in the first flight over
Russia has been found complete absence in that country ...
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Apple from apple-tree near yabnulos!
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A guy comes into a pharmacy and asks whether there is anything from constipation.
The pharmacist says:
- Yes, but it is a very powerful tool, and therefore require accurate
dosage. So, from counter-to-door pharmacies - 5 meters. (Takes the bottle
and pours back a bit of red liquid). What is the distance from the door
pharmacy to your home?
- Well ... m. 400.
The pharmacist adds to the vial blue liquid and asks:
- And what is the distance from the door of your entrance to the toilet?
- First, I must open the front door, then climb the stairs
on the third floor, open the apartment door, go through the entire corridor ... 50 meters
Pharmacist, adding to the vial a little yellow liquid and all
mixed, hands a bottle to the peasant and said:
- Here, drink this and go home without wasting time and again tomorrow
go me.
The next day a man comes in and says:
- As a pharmacist you will, of course, a true professional - your medicine
great an effect, but here are a mathematician you worthless - you are mistaken
as much as 100 meters!
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Attending a rehearsal orchestra.
- So, everyone stop. The third violin is strongly false.
(Long pause) then puzzled voice:
- Third Violin today do not!
The conductor nods, and a calm voice:
- Okay, then give him my observations ...
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- Tell me, I really Napoleon?
- Certainly, sir.
- So, tomorrow will be the victory at Austerlitz?
- Well, of course, sir. Brilliant victory!
- But then it will be the Russian campaign, Borodino, Moscow fire ...
- What can you do, sir.
- And then Waterloo, exile, the island of St. Helena ...
- Alas, sire.
- Oh, I'm afraid it will come down from all this crazy! It is true, doctor?
- Well you something, darling, it's not scary.

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