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Jokes ... (July 20, 2009 Issue 3)

July 20 2009
16:40

Poster in gynecology:
"Doctor!" Not having the proper grip, do not you dare touch the cervix! "
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The first sign of pregnancy - when it is sick in the mornings
and the lessons do not want to.
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The American program to launch into space supernavorochennyh
spy satellites that can detect the earth-sized object
baseball, ended in complete failure - in the first flight over
Russia has been found complete absence in that country ...
baseballs!
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Apple from apple-tree near yabnulos!
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A guy comes into a pharmacy and asks whether there is anything from constipation.
The pharmacist says:
- Yes, but it is a very powerful tool, and therefore require accurate
dosage. So, from counter-to-door pharmacies - 5 meters. (Takes the bottle
and pours back a bit of red liquid). What is the distance from the door
pharmacy to your home?
- Well ... m. 400.
The pharmacist adds to the vial blue liquid and asks:
- And what is the distance from the door of your entrance to the toilet?
- First, I must open the front door, then climb the stairs
on the third floor, open the apartment door, go through the entire corridor ... 50 meters
obtained.
Pharmacist, adding to the vial a little yellow liquid and all
mixed, hands a bottle to the peasant and said:
- Here, drink this and go home without wasting time and again tomorrow
go me.
The next day a man comes in and says:
- As a pharmacist you will, of course, a true professional - your medicine
great an effect, but here are a mathematician you worthless - you are mistaken
as much as 100 meters!
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Attending a rehearsal orchestra.
Conductor:
- So, everyone stop. The third violin is strongly false.
(Long pause) then puzzled voice:
- Third Violin today do not!
The conductor nods, and a calm voice:
- Okay, then give him my observations ...
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- Tell me, I really Napoleon?
- Certainly, sir.
- So, tomorrow will be the victory at Austerlitz?
- Well, of course, sir. Brilliant victory!
- But then it will be the Russian campaign, Borodino, Moscow fire ...
- What can you do, sir.
- And then Waterloo, exile, the island of St. Helena ...
- Alas, sire.
- Oh, I'm afraid it will come down from all this crazy! It is true, doctor?
- Well you something, darling, it's not scary.

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