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Jokes ... (October 19, 2009 Issue 2)

October 19 2009
11:42

One philosopher has decided to order a cake for his birthday his wife.
And came up with this inscription: "You do not get old, you're just getting better." He came into a pastry shop and says:
- Make me a cake with the words!
- How to write? - He's asked.
- Write "you do not get old" from the top, but "you just get better" - below!
And then came the guests. It turns out her husband. Puts the cake on the table, opens the box and ... Everybody can see the inscription:
"You do not get old on top, you just get better from the bottom!"
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We must put the paper in the refrigerator to the news was fresh.
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Man, being in a deep and prolonged drinking bout, he suddenly longed to look at yourself in the mirror. Seeing that the mirror is so severely smeared that it did not make out, the man takes a rag and wipe it starts and suddenly find yourself asking:
- I have something I do not understand who cleans the mirror, you or me?
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- Why do young mothers in Estonia Pampers change in their children only once
a week?
- Because the packaging says "up to 4 kg"
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- How the Indians called the richest man in the world?
- Bill Great Gluck.
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- Mom, the guys at school say I have too big head, and called tadpoles.
- So give them for it in the neck.
- And they are from me through the narrow corridors of escape.
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- Noon, bustling freeway. The woman sitting behind the wheel of the Mercedes, dramatically slows down and enters into her ass Zaporozhets, at the wheel which also turned out to be a woman. Who among them is to blame?
- Both, as at noon, each of them had to stay home and cook dinner.
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There are two friends.
- Hello! Is that you? Wow - a whole 15 years have not seen each other! And you put on weight so that you and I at first did not recognize.
- You, too, has changed dramatically, if not for your dress in a flower, I would not recognize you, too.
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She was so skinny, well, so skinny that when she ate olives, everyone thought that she was preparing to become a mother.
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Exhibition of works by herders.
The first picture: three reindeer, a drunken reindeer herder in the sleds.
Title: "Everyday work in reindeer husbandry" Krivoy Rog in ".
The second picture: three drunken reindeer, a drunken reindeer herder in the sleds.
Title: "The reindeer husbandry" in Krivoy Rog, Saturday and Sunday. "
The third picture: three drunken reindeer herder in harness, drunk deer sleds.
Title: "Reindeer national holiday" Day of the Deer. "
Fourth picture: three drunken reindeer herder in harness, a drunken, bearded man in a sled. Title: "nationwide holiday" Day of the geologist. "

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