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Jokes ... (August 19, 2009 Issue 3)

August 19 2009

Volka comes to the clinic for hair transplantation. Lagging behind Hottabych. The old man had his hands behind his back in handcuffs, on the face of bruising, mouth gag.
Volka, nodding at Hottabych, said the clinic:
- I want the same beard like his. Give your laser - zilch, zilch.
The old man agrees in principle.
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Funeral. Attending a funeral procession. On the lid of the coffin lay an artificial jaw. All are silent, thinking about the deceased. One of those present laughs loudly and can not stop.
Who died? Who's laughing and why?
Died dentist. Laughs a gynecologist, because she thinks that the same will put on his coffin when he dies.
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How to determine what your nationality?

1. If you during a tourist trip into some eastern countries are experiencing a feeling of superiority, and during a trip to the western countries are experiencing an inferiority complex, you - Russian.

2. If you infuriates any mention of lard, you - Ukrainian.

3. If a child after a school history lesson on the Mongol invasion of Rus you returned home with a black eye, then you - Tatar.

4. If your first language is broken Tatar, but you do not consider yourself a Tartar, you - Bashkir.

5. If you regularly listen to Radio Armenia, but they do not laugh, then you - Armenian.
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Year ****. Meeting in the village.
Chapter stands up and says:
- Comrade Vladimir Lenin's diseased heart and you want one of you donated to him my heart ......
A forest of hands ......
- But the leaders have only one heart .....
A forest of hands ......
- Then I'll release a dove, and on whom he sits, he will donate his heart.
Releasing a dove, and a profound silence on all sides be heard only kshsh, kshshsh, kshshshshshshshshsh!
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The philosopher Diogenes was sitting in a tub, and ate a mess of pottage. At the luxurious chariot to him rode Antipas and philosopher said:
- Here, Diogenes, if you learned to flatter the emperor, as I do, you would not have had a mess of pottage!
- And if you, Antipas, learned a mess of pottage, you would not have to flatter the Emperor!
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- And here is me my girlfriend as a suitable and says: "Darling, I have for you" Kindersyurpriz "!" - And so gently stroking himself on the tummy ...
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Inspired by television.

- Look for her riveted all eyes!
- It takes a new natural product based on radishes and peas, and sharp, with a bang, losing weight right in front of everyone.
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In the Armenian Radio asked:
"Why Ukrainians celebrate their independence day on August 24?"
Armenian Radio answers:
"In winter crest needs Russian gas."

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