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Jokes ... (Apr. 19, 2009 Issue 3)

April 19 2009

The doctor asks the patient:
- And how do you sleep?
- Bad Doctor, very bad. In the evening I go to early morning wake up late
and after dinner - for hours and did not toss as I can not sleep!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Ha exhibition weapons guide leads visitors to the next exhibit:
- This is the latest development, superstoyky body armor, can withstand shots N
in focus, the mechanical strength of K conventional units, more reliable tank armor.
Do not touch: if broken, will have to pay full price.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Dopogaya! - He exhales wearily from under the crumpled podyshki - yzhasno I love you!
- Yes, - she answered coldly - I noticed it has finally arrived! Ho, I hope that
once nibyd you still naychishsya!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Vovochka offers Masha:
- Masha, and we'll let the family play?
- And how?
- First, to have sex, and then the characters will not quit!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
A guy at work complained colleague:
- Damn, not enough sleep at all. Cat third week of the night screaming. Just
I do not know how her throat zatknyt.
- You're the cat ppitaschi, he quickly shut up her mouth.
- Dymaesh, cats is known for blowjob?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- And I lyrics pishy.
- Hy, and how, They take?
- Hapoloviny: They take to write, poems - no!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Stop the ambulance in front of the house. Doctor rings the doorbell
and asks:
- Here lives a woman who has stuck a vibrator?
- Yes, here! This is my wife.
Physician after the visit:
- It's Not a very simple matter, as it turned out. Pull this thing out
would be very difficult. It will take time.
- Could you at least turn it off! It causes interference on my TV!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- You slept with my wife! You'll pay for this!
- Figure you, I do not pay twice!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- And yesterday I met a girl, but today invited her to
- Well, what can be called a man who at the second meeting drags
girl to his home?
- It's known as - "brake" ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
John was at death's door, breathing heavily. After gathering the remnants of the forces, he turned
to his wife:
- Run if you're my last request?
- Certainly, John, - she answered quietly.
- I want that 6 months after my death you are married to Jo ...
- But I thought that you hate him?
At last breath John murmured:
- Even as the hate ...

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