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Jokes ... (November 18, 2009 Issue 2)

November 18 2009
11:52

- Honey, if I die, you cry?
- Of course, dear, you know what I'm paying for every trifle.
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Man comes to the clinic by donating sperm. Put him on the couch, gave a glass bowl and said:
- Here is a jar, and now pofantaziruyte. Imagine the sensual and the desired point in his life and imagination merge the result here!
After 15 minutes, a nurse enters and sees a guy with a pot full of urine.
- What is this?!
- Yes, here I am to imagine - said a man. - Heat. I lie at home on the couch all naked, sweaty after a shower. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
Opened, and there ... kick-ass blonde ... In a case of beer ...!!!
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From the dialogue in a chat:
- Incidentally, I worked as a model!
- A model of what?
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Swiss returns home and finds his wife with her lover. Naked lover in a panic pops out of bed, rushed into the bathroom, grabs it and wraps a towel around his hips. The enraged husband, seeing this, rushes after him screaming "NO!"
Wife thinks, well, everything, now he will. Suited to the bathroom and sees - there husband in hysterics, pained voice:
- NO! NOT THIS! IT - FACE!
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If you want to be remembered after death - leave debt.
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Parisian while holidaying in the village, boasted in a bistro that can recognize any drink that he will be offered. The innkeeper came down to the basement and returned, carrying in his hand a glass filled with a colorless liquid.
Parisian one spirit drained his glass and shouted:
- Oh-oh-oh! The same gasoline!
- Bravo! 92 or 76?
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- Waiter! I ordered soup and fried fish. Why have you brought the first fish, but not the soup, as it should?
- Cook said that this fish can not wait any longer ...
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- This year I was lucky: I rested 2 months!
- How do you manage it?
- When I returned from holiday, went on vacation the head. Also on the month!
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In the coupe rides man. At one station with noise and gamom tumble family - a woman with four children.
- Is it possible to pacify them? - Dissatisfied with the passenger asks.
- Unfortunately, no - is responsible mother. - But you will not long endure. Soon stop.
- You will go there?
- We - no, but you will - for sure.
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The conversation at the festival:
- For this film have all received awards: director, screenwriter, actor.
- Just do not understand why not give prizes to spectators?

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