You are here: 
Home / Humor
 /
rss News rss Articles rss General
Humor

Jokes ... (Sept. 18, 2009 Issue 2)

September 18 2009
11:08

A happy employee private pension fund runs into the Office of the Director:
- Ivan Ivanovich, seems we just had a client who posted a $ 3 million in cash and has issued a lifetime pension of 10 thousand dollars a month until the end of life. Cute such an expensive coat. In my opinion, a well-known actor Singers ...
General, a quick scan contract, purple:
- Idiot! You're fired! That was Duncan MacLeod!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
A bad habit of drinking vodka in the evenings creates a good habit to drink in the morning yogurt and mineral water ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
What happens if you Muscovite and meet with the provincial girl.

You will learn in the institute, she said that she was from Belgorod.
If her name Kuropatkin, it always mentions that a relative of the very famous General Kuropatkin.
You'll learn that she does not drink. And if they drink beer, and then only in small amounts.
A week later, she said that in love with you.
After a week and some days you will know that you are second, with whom she has sex.
Two weeks later, she invites you to get married.
Three - to get married.
Refuses to do blowjob, arguing that it can not and do: "it - disgusting."
A month later she acclimatized in Moscow and you start to make out of it man.
You explain that:
In the subway escalators are on the right.
Clothing with Cherkizovsky market and from the store Sasch two entirely different things.
McDonald's - not a restaurant.
Drink more liters of beer at a time and not get drunk for the mannered girl - a bad habit.
There are many newspapers and magazines, except for "Seven Days".
Bought a cat is not called a human named "Pasha".
Internet is useful.
After three months of your acquaintance she gets from you the necessary experience and knowledge for employment.
After four months, said that he had met on the work of a man who became her friend.
You do not pay any attention to this.
From her learn that she lives next to Belgorod, a city Valuiki.
Accidentally found out and broke her mailbox, you hit a number of her friends, which previously did not know.
Returning in the summer of Sochi, will know that Valuiki are some three km from Belgorod.
Girl makes you the first time Blowjob. Are you surprised her professionalism, but do not pay attention.
Five months later, it puts you on notice that goes to the other, running concurrently in foreign intelligence. You are surprised.
Having broken the cops, the ET-bistable, take a "friend" in unseen ticks.
Your favorite pastime is assembled and disassembled machine Kalashnikov 5.45 ". Do you know the prices of the thick, plastids, TNT, ammonal, RDX.
Want to commit the killing himself.
When her life and the lives of the unsuspecting "friend" hangs in the balance, common sense takes over.
You send it, asking cops, ET bistable leave it in the design.
You are nothing more surprised to learn that:
Six months of life thrown in the trash.
The girl tossed and "other", found another Lohan.
Even after half a liter of vodka girls from Valuek not too intoxicated.
You raped mentally and physically.
Your ex-girlfriend - a professional whore + list on three sheets with whom, where and when.
But you still continue to think that the best girls - not Muscovite.
And it's true!

Rating jokes on Fark.Ru

More anecdotes on Yoki.Ru

Print version

Photo Gallery
At this moment...
Photo

Week top publications
Popular reading
©2006-2019 All rights reserved
liveinternet.ru: display number of browses и visitors for 24 hour