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Jokes ... (18 June 2009 Issue 3)

June 18 2009

The waiter is in the operating room, bleeding profusely.
In operating the doctor comes.
- Doctor, help me, I ... dying ..
- This table is not in service.
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Shop for ppodazhe komp'yute. Ppodavets podbipaet rich
but do not understand komyutepah lady:
- Well now, I'll podobpal hard drive better ...
- Better - it's harder?
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The conversation at the bar of American grandparents:
- "My hands are so weak that could hardly keep a mug!"
- "Yes, I know. I finally can cataracts, so I do not see that and drink! "
- "And I even can not turn his neck! Damn arthritis! "
- "And my blood pressure jumps!"
- "Yeah! Old age - no joy! "
- "Come on you, good though the car can still drive!"
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One guy tried to sell one tool against mosquitoes
farmer. He and his grit:
- Let me you, son, naked tie for the night to a pole in his yard,
namazhu your vehicle, and if in the morning you will not have any
mosquito bite, then I'll buy the whole antikomarin who you are!
He agreed and remained namazany naked and stand by the column.
The next morning the whole family farmer came running to check the result.
Look, and he is barely alive, so zadrochenny, and on the body - well
a single bite.
- Sonny, but what are you so exhausted?
- Hey, Grandpa, that's what you tell me: the one over there fucking calf mom is?
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Êàî, one beggar asked the zoo good people to take animals
the winter at home. All sorted out, and only one huge gorilla
did not want to take. Finally, there was one good Samaritan and agreed
take a gorilla. He and gryat:
- In PRINCIPLE, she is calm, but never hear any of that
do not slam her on the shoulder!
Well, now lives this shmuck with a gorilla, and it took a terrible curiosity.
Well, he slapped her on the shoulder. Immediately my eyes were bloodshot gorilla,
Wool rearing, and the man got up on skis. Gorilla to pursue a
it around the house. Overturning furniture, dude managed to run out into the street,
gorilla behind him. Running man on the street and suddenly the wall.
Closing his eyes, he decided to face death, when he felt
slap on the shoulder and a voice:
- You golish!
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One woman was different:
- All Men lascivious bastards where it is better to my plastic friend
on batteries!
- And if at the critical moment the batteries sit down?
- Well, then imitate orgasm, as usual!
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Killed in the conjugal duties
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- Dad, can you sign with your eyes closed?
- Yes, why?
- Then Prove my diary.
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Her husband was young, only horns punching.
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Why Chukchi opens yogurt shop?
Because it is written: "Open here!"

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