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Jokes ... (March 18, 2009 Issue 1)

March 18 2009
05:59

- Today, drink myself to death!
- Let's go: I want to die with you
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Sitting in the therapist's office. Opens the door. Comes
man with remnants of borscht on the head, with ears hanging cabbage,
to suit the traces of broken eggs, and the back of all white flour.
The doctor, with humor:
- So what's bothering you, dear?
Man:
- At the moment I am concerned about the mental state of my wife.
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The inscription on the door venereologist: "Not all women are created equal"
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Two American tourists in Costa Rica.
First:
- Count up as the local people here makes gloves!?
They anoint the hands of sap from the rubber tree, and then waving to them,
sap freezes and gloves ready!
Second:
- Wow! Cool! And how do they do condom ...!?
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Passenger long look at the blinking light at the end of the wing
plane, then calls the stewardess and says:
- Tell the captain that he had forgotten to turn off the right turn signal!
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There are two programmers.
- Would you like a new anecdote about Bill Gates will tell?
- Come on!
- Comes in the morning a servant to the battleground, and he died!
- And then?
- Well, after that I do not remember ... Ho what a beginning!
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- Tomorrow we will come to my mom!
... silence.
- Not for long, just a couple weeks!
... silence.
- Did you hear what I said?
.... silence.
- Well, that's nice, I know that you are not rasserdishsya!
... tyazhely sigh.
- And do not be yelling at me!
In the mountain resort doctor patient complains that he is hard to breathe.
- How? - Surprised the doctor. - In the clean clear air?
- That's it! At home I used to see what I breathe!
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- Do you know why television will never replace the newspaper?
- No, why?
- Try to sleep, covered his face with a TV ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Do you know why television will never replace the newspaper?
- No, why?
- Try to sleep, covered his face with a TV ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Mother says daughter marries:
- To stay for my husband always wanted, never take off your clothes
completely!
Well, my daughter got married and, after some time living together,
her husband asks:
- Hey, you have a family were abnormal?
- No, why do you ask?
- We're not the first day live together, and every time you sleep
lie down in his boots!

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