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Jokes ... (September 17, 2009 Issue 1)

September 17 2009
05:00

Designed to pack the State Duma deputies had the unique opportunity to experience the hard life of a soldier.
Their whole day was forced to shoot from machine guns and grenade launchers, light tank and a soup.
In the evening they put to sleep on hard beds usual barracks and all night eight "grandparents" washed their socks and chased away the flies.
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What do we do when we get together? Yes, vodka deafen! What is vodka? Yes, our beloved transparent, with a great refreshing taste!
So we never have a question: "What beer to drink ...??"
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Mom goes with a young son on the street. Meet them is a man - without hands, without legs, humped and with one eye. The boy asks:
- Mama, what is this pokemon?
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I'm just burning with thoughts of you, I want you to undress, dragged to bed, I want you and I fucked like crazy, I want you to be experiencing an orgasm orgasm for you to scream and moan in ecstasy.
In general, come forward.
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Grazing in the meadow huge bull calmly plucking green grass. Suddenly he sees in the distance some sort of white point and begins to stalk her.
Point, moving gradually into a white ball. The bull did not notice that the ball - actually a rabbit. Running up against the bull, rabbit, bends his fingers and begins to yell:
- You're horny hick, deliver me the way, you understand?
The bull continues to stand motionless, looking at the rabbit with an indifferent manner.
Rabbit:
- You Th, freak, can not hear, I said come on the road, if the horns do not want to!
The bull did not budge. Rabbit continues to run down:
- Do you che, ears clogged by shit? If you have 10 seconds, not move, I'll break off point, I realized, you fag stinking? Again ... two ... three ...
Deaf bull snorts with boredom, turns his back to the rabbit, greet him with the contents of his intestines and slowly goes away.
Five minutes pass, ten, already flies flocked ... Finally, the rabbit can not stick his head out of the heap. Clearing clogged his mouth, he starts yelling after the bull:
- What the crap?
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A guy comes home with a big packing chocolates and tells her four young children:
- Who always listens to her mother, who never with her Do not fight, who always does whatever she asks, what will get to these sweets.
Do you think anyone?
Kids in chorus:
- To you, Dad.
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One very angry little girl says his classmate,
not distinguished by its beauty:
- If you're somewhere in a deserted place will meet a company of drunken
guys, you know what they done to you?
- No, and what happens?
- Nothing!
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Student - teacher:
- Should I punish someone for what he did?
- No, certainly not in any way can not be!
- Okay. I have not done your homework ...
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Gandalf:
- Take the ring, Frodo. What do you see?
Frodo:
- It is something written.
Gandalf:
- What?
Frodo:
- Made in China!
Gandalf:
- I was afraid.
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Did you know that in the Russian province recently found a tribe of punks, conservatives, still showing the f ** k with two fingers?

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