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Jokes ... (July 17, 2009 Issue 3)

July 17 2009
16:35

Kaa the boa constrictor is arguing with Bagirov:
- Mowgli - a man.
- What are you, Kaa! - Objection Panther - he was no man.
- I say - a man. I know.
- How do you know?
Kaa rubs Fingal eye:
- Give him some vodka - will know ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Most stpashny zvep - is a toad, she zadyshila more than half the population
Earth shapa.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Expensive. Again, I can not find my tie.
Where you once again moved the cabinet?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Sit five Georgians, boring them, all the games have already beat, do not know what
do. One says:
- Slyushayte, and let a Russian ruletku sygraem?
Well, all agree, take out the barrel, charge one cartridge, the first Georgian
puts the barrel to his head ... BAH! Brains fly on the wall! Second
charges one bullet, puts the barrel to his head ... BAH! Falls down dead.
The same happens with the third and fourth. Fifth, too, charges
cartridge, puts the barrel to his temple, looks around the four corpses, and thoughtfully
says:
- Strange, but perhaps Russian roulette with the "TT" are ...?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Press any key to exit or any other to continue.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- I have in the country already has a blast furnace!
- Why do you want a blast furnace?
- I live in it on ...!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Father and son fishing, early morning, do not bite.
Father:
- My son and my mother we did with you dough, to get, will be on the dough
catch!
Son:
- Dad, I ate the dough ...
Father:
- Well, ate and x. .. with him.
Sit on, an hour later:
- My son and my mother we buterbrodiki cheese made, let's roll
try to catch.
Son:
Dad and I ate buterbrodiki ...
Father:
- Come and eat right.
Sit on, after a while, almost day otets stands up and says:
- Well, my son had finished worms and went home ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two candidates for mayor. Greeted each other.
- How are you doing? - Asks one.
- Yeah. What about you?
- And my rating in half down!
- Oh! What happened?
- Wife's mother refused to go to the polls!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Caught dumb goldfish. She says to him:
- Let go, fulfill every desire!
The guy in the response traces in the air and the diamond sticks out tongue.
Fish:
- Ice cream?
A man grunts, turns the head and once again draws a diamond and draw out the tongue.
Fish:
- Maybe the money?
A man once growled, rotates head and draws back the diamond and pops
language.
Fish:
- Renault lease, eh?

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