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Jokes ... (November 16, 2009 Issue 2)

November 16 2009
11:16

There are two:
- Oh! I see your boys already so manly!
- Yeah! Yes, and your girls, too, look how vozbabeli!
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Two ladies talking about the infidelity of their husbands. One says:
- I'm on this is absolutely calm. My husband is from me no mind.
- Certainly, certainly. But maybe, he has moments of enlightenment?
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On the terrace of elegant restaurant sits a large family - father, mother, grandfather, brothers, nephews, etc. get from a bag sausage, cheese, bread, tomatoes, beer, vodka ...
Suited waiter:
- What will you order?
- Bring a carafe of water. And nine glasses.
A minute later comes to restaurant director, turns to his father:
- Look, here a restaurant ...
- Yes, I see it. And you, in fact, who is?
- I - director of the restaurant!
- And that's the way it is. I just wanted to ask, but why is it you have no music playing?
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A psychiatrist:
- Doctor! Why does everyone say that I have delusions of grandeur?
- And you, in fact, anyone?
- I'm a genius. Simply genius.
- Enough can not continue. You do not have delusions of grandeur. We are geniuses, it does not suffer.
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After viewing n +1 episode of "Star Wars".
- Well, look?
- Yes, junk, again almost all the creatures drawing.
- Well, what do you want - Hollywood, they always have to genetics not have enough money.

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A man brags to his friend:
- My wife is just superb. I earn a little money, and houses a damn do not, and conjugal duty rarely performed ... And it is not a word. Tolerates low.
Friend, thoughtfully:
- Yes. I know this small ...
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Mother - son:
- We want to buy a cottage, so the father decided to quit drinking, I - to quit, and what do you do?
- I can not quit school!
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- If you meet the man of her dreams at a party, is it ok - come up and ask whether he is married?
- Better to wait until morning.
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Caressing his wife before having sex, try to think of something pleasant.

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Four rules for a happy family life:

1. We need to find a woman who cooks well and cleans up;
2. We need to find a woman who earns a lot of money;
3. We need to find a woman who likes to have sex;
4. It is necessary that these women have never met!

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