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Jokes ... (November 16, 2009 Issue 1)

November 16 2009
05:14

Husband returned from a trip and found his wife with her lover.
- Hello, I'm Ivan, CEO, and also the husband of this lady.
- Hello, and I am the Acting Director General.
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- My dear, you should bathe more often - the doctor said the patient.
- But I take a bath every day!
- In that case you need to frequently change the water in it!
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London cemetery. On the tombstone inscription: "My tears you will not be resurrected. And that is why I'm crying."
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- Excuse me, but I deleted you a healthy tooth. Will now have to remove more and the patient.
- Nothing, nothing. It's good that you are not an eye doctor!
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In the Department ambulance brought man with a broken leg. The doctor asks:
- How did it happen?
- During the game.
- Did you play soccer?
- No cards.
-??
- Yes, my friend handed me a sign under the table.
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The man saw a woman crying in the car, standing at the window, and asked:
- What is it, madam? Why are you crying?
- Ah, - sobbed the lady, - my husband went out to stop the newspapers, and the train left without him.
- Oh, I sympathize with you. Just awful to stay on the train without having to read.
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In the store the dense tumble woman:
- I would like to see a bathing suit that would have approached me ...
Seller:
- Me too!
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- Notebook have?
- No.
- A pen?
- No.
- Pens?
- Also no.
- Give Me a Complaints Book!
- One of the ruble. Pay in cash!
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- Is there a recipe for a successful marriage?
- Well, first of all, this man himself ...
- And secondly?
- And who, secondly - that this is the secret of a successful marriage ...
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Another attempt to put in the People's Theatre Chekhov's "Lady with a Lapdog" suffered a crushing fiasco.

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