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Jokes ... (June 16, 2009 Issue 2)

June 16 2009

Talk to three women. First:
- I would like to have sex in some eastern Castle: around
velvets, carpets, nice music ...
- I would like in nature, say, on a yacht around the sea gulls ...
- I would like in the nuthouse.
- ?????????
- You know, I like to fuck like crazy.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Wife to her husband:
- Come on now Have sex on the floor.
- Why?
- I'd like to feel that something solid.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Why get drunk and crawl when you can smoke and fly?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Why do guys wear earrings?
- It's very simple: if the earring in her left ear - it's a homosexual, and if
earring in his right ear - this bugger ... Got it?
- Understand ... But did not understand the difference between a homosexual from homosexual?
- Well, I tell you: the gay earring in left ear, while
bugger - right in!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- I'm afraid I have to sell the car.
- Why?
- Every time I stop, a policeman comes and asks,
is there any witnesses to the accident.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
For success in the fight against the Whites and Petya Chapaev were awarded
command tours in Australia. Local Aboriginal lie on the beach
in the water do not go, afraid of sharks. A Russian swim - though that. Shark
smelling it, rushing in all directions at once. Finally, it was time to leave.
The main approaches to Aboriginal Chapaev and asks:
- You do not share your secret? Why for the entire vacation for you never
attacked by a shark, and they devour our hundreds.
- What really is the secret. It's all Furmanov. He's literate, read in
a book that sharks are very acute sense of smell.
- So what?
- Well, we swam without removing footcloths.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Drunk glory in front of your friends:
- And here I can drink more than half a liter. And more than a liter can. And even
more than half!
- A little less than 100 grams?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
One mason fell from the second floor repaired at home. Immediately
people came running, and someone handed him a glass of water. Poor man took the glass,
looked at him and a plaintive voice said:
- I wonder, with some floor to fall to get a glass of wine.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Millionaire comes to church for confession. The priest asked him:
- What is your sin, my son?
- Father, I'm too greedy.
- Greed - a great sin. When you come out of the church, you must give
$ 50 to the first, who gets in your way.
- How? $ 50 to the first comer?
- My son, if you want to get back on the road to reform, you must start
from that.
Millionaire to listen to him. He goes out of the church - nobody around! Is
further and sees a girl - high heel shoes, short skirt,
Cosmetics almost falling off ... He comes to her, gives her a bill in
$ 50 and says:
- Here you go ...
- No, it's not enough, you need $ 100.
- Why $ 100? Priest told me that he needed to give $ 50.
- Well, after my father - a regular customer ...

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