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Jokes ... (August 15, 2009 Issue 3)

August 15 2009
16:29

The doctor puts a hacker diagnosis:
- So, my dear, you have to live 30 days.
- Excuse me, doctor, and where you can download the crack?
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The school became ill teacher of Russian language and set to replace the math. Hu, so he comes to class.
Mathematician:
- What is the theme of the last session?
Students:
- Cases.
Mathematician:
- Repeat this case.
Nominative: who, what.
Genitive: who, what.
Dative: to whom ... - and then forgotten.
Mathematician:
- Who knows?
Students:
- Do not remember.
Mathematician:
- Then we derive. Suppose that an unknown word X, then:
Who, what
Who, X
Make up a proportion:

Why * anyone
X = --------- = what
Who
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- Why did you sent the wife's mother in a driving school?
- To hang on the door the sign "No entry"!
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'Brother drive up to the construction site, sits beside her drugs in a state close to absolute zero. Ask:
- Hey, Torchok this Che is here finally can construct as well?
He thoughtfully focused, issue:
- Oh-oh-oh, vaascheeeee ...
- No, you tell me specifically of Che is here?
- Oh-oh-oh, vaascheeeee ...
- Hey, do not Tupi! We have, in kind, nerves of iron, say, as it is, Che build?
- On-vasche-store!
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If dramatically open the front doors at the same time in 100 domestic cars "Volga", then:
- In 29 car door opens;
- 27 - not open;
- In 13 open, but it will not close;
- In 9 to open the trunk;
- At 12 the door will fall off;
- 7 door will fall off with the wheels;
- At 3 doors generally have not.
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Question:
- Can I drink a liter of vodka?
Answer:
- Can. Just as it is then a hold?
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Straseni old man with a hangover goes to the blue sea and throws a seine
the first time - is empty, throws the second time - is empty, the third time
cast nets, and the old man pulled from the sea of golden fish and the fish said
he human voice:
- Forgive me, old man, back into the sea, I will perform any three wishes!
The old man in the back and says:
- Well, then beer and zasohni!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Policeman stops a car with a blonde behind the wheel.

M: - your rights, please.
B: - What?
M: - The rights, please.
B: - And what is right?
M: - This is such a thing with your photo.
B: - Ahh. (Digging in her purse. He takes a mirror). Please.
M: (Looks in mirror) - Well, why did not you say that you're a policeman.

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