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Jokes ... (15 July 2009 Issue 2)

July 15 2009
11:15

In a dark alley woman stops robber:
- Come on, take off your clothes!
She declines the expensive garments, and gave the robber. He yells:
- All Skydan with a fully!
- But I'm shy!
- There is nothing to be ashamed, I am a former doctor!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Desert. 50-degree heat. Held an international competition for
survival. Overcoming the 100 km, all in a lather to finish crawling German:
- Pi-i-i-and-ty!
Behind him in the faint and dizzy creep up the Frenchman:
- Pee-u and-i-i-and-ty !!!!!!
Third, with the muzzle red as brick, tipsy appears Russian:
- Biting-and-and-and-and-ty !!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Announcement on the porch:
Dear residents, District Council asks you to pay until the end of the month
gas bill. In the case of non-gas will be launched on the ventilation
pipes "
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Medical draft board.
Optometrist:
- You see these letters?
- No.
- Come closer. And now?
- No.
- Even closer approach. Now see?
- No.
- Closely approach. Now see?
- Now, like, I see.
- Thus, the distance of 50 cm Writing - "fit for bayonet fighting."
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Early morning Paris. In the bus tumble guy with a terrible hangover, a sufferer neopohmelivshiysya. The bus moves, he falls to his knees to the passenger. That (very angrily):
- Monsieur, shame on you! If I was in such a state as you, I would have shot myself in the forehead is empty!
- Madam! If you were in a state like me, you would have missed.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Two - a man and a woman - on board. "It seems to be asleep - let's go ..."
Footfall. "That's where free ... Nobody sees, come first ... "
"A little cramped ... Let me sit down. You grabbed a condom?
Quickly pulled! "
Noisy wheezing. "Oh, the smell ... This is something! "
"Excellent ..." lingering sigh.
Sizzle on speakerphone and then a voice: "This is commander.
Referring to the two passengers that were closed in the back closet. We know what you're doing there, and this is clearly prohibited by the rules
Airlines. Let's dispose of cigarettes and remove the condom with
smoke detector! "

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