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Jokes ... (April 14, 2009 Issue 1)

April 14 2009
05:58

Little boy calls the emergency services:
- Ale! It is a service of salvation!? We've just got my aunt and uncle in an elevator
stuck! Judging by the groans - Aunt wounded ...!!!
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- Fast! Hands behind your head! Feet shoulder-width apart!
- Is it a robbery?!
- No, the lesson of physical education!
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One day my father arranged with his son that he will allow him to ride
on the carousel if that will allow him to drink a beer mug ...
And in the evening came mom, dad and picked up a blue shot with carousel
Green's son ...
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Is a man on the beach. Suddenly sees - is goldfish flutter.
He raised it and threw into the water. Worth waiting for.
Fish pokes his head out of the water and asks:
- What, man, I suppose, three wishes you want?
- Aha!
- Duc, bummer. That I just jaundice, but in fact I am an ordinary Karasik.
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Danila Bagrov (fingering his gun):
- Tell me, man, what power?
A guy (shaking with fear):
- I think the money ...
Danil Bagrov:
- That's my brother said that in the money. A force in newtons it.
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Leo Friday gathering of animals:
- To-morrow at 8.00 am they were all on the clean-!!!!!!
The next day all the animals in the collection, toil and sweat, and the Ravens do not have ...
A few hours later came the crow - the condom on his head, armpit
clamshell.
Leo angrily:
- Crow, what is it ????????? Why condoms?
Crow:
- So you are saying: come to the x ** howling clothes.
- A clamshell why?
- Well, how? You said yourself: who would not work, that tr ** at will!
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In the archive fpantsyzskogo ministepstva obopony recently they found curious
letter. It is dated 1960 and signed by the person in ppizvannym
apmiyu, but does not want to otp.pavlyaytes voyny in Alzhip. Note, for
ppostoty understanding that in fpantsyzskom language podstvenniki with
box side myzha or wife called dvoyupodnymi bpatyami or sestpami.
Here is the text of the letter:

"The Minister Sir!

I am 24 years old, I married a widow 44 years, which has the 25-year-old daughter.
My father married this devyshke obpazom and thus became my son-poskolky
He - my myzh dochepi. Thus, the mine padchepitsa became my stepmother, paz
yzh it - the wife of my father.

My wife and I podilsya son. He became bpatom wife of my father and
dvoyupodnym bpatom my father. And, accordingly, my father, he poskolky -
bpat my stepmother. Thus, the tepep my son - my uncle. The wife of my father
too podila pebenka, eccentricity became odnovpemenno my bpatom, paz yzh he - the son
my father and my vnykom, poskolky he - the son of dochepi my wife. Since myzh
matepi someone is his father, They take what I - the father of his wife,
I paz - bpat his son. Thus, the I became my own grandfather.

Given the above, Mr. The Minister, pposhy you ppinyat
mepy necessary for my demobilization poskolky on zakony not
ppizyvat on slyzhby odnovpemenno son, father and grandfather.

With hope for your understanding, ppimite, M. The Minister, in yvepeniya
my iskpennih chyvstvah.
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- This is the most "decent garden plot," that you sell?
You kidding? Yes, it is ten feet long and twenty wide!
- Yes, but look what a magnificent height of ...

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