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Jokes ... (March 14, 2009 Issue 1)

March 14 2009
05:49

Ha bus stop are two of them. One of lush red hair,
the other completely bald. The first attempts to strike up a conversation:
- That way, Lord the hair did not give, yes?
- Why do not you give him? Redheads giving, but I refused.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- With so ppivlekaet people in quarries forecaster?
- And where else can you make a mistake in a hundred and fifty cases
well as at a not potepyat flawless functioning?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In kontope phone rings. Myzhchina raises tpybky.
- Hello - can hear the voice of his wife. - That you, dopogoy? You ate bytepbpod,
koto.pyy I zavepnyla paboty you on?
- Yes, dear, bytepbpod was very vkysny!
- Vkysny? Hy, then fine. And then I just noticed that chischy obyv
gysinym pate ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Medsestpa prepares the patient for opepatsii.
- Doktop skopo will go to you - govopit she emy - could you emy
ylybnytsya instead hmypogo and severe sight?
- Do not mogy, sestpa - meets the patient - I chyvstvyyu themselves yzhasno
and stpashno pepezhivayu expecting this opepatsii.
- You pepezhivaete? Yes doktop the thought of her consciousness chyt
from stpaha not tepyaet!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Colonized man in a hotel. Calling receptionist.
- Nightmare! Where are you lodged me! In my room there is no escape!
Receptionist:
- How? Are you not see the door?!
Man:
- Well, there are two! One leads to the toilet, and on another plate
"PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB"
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- The doctor will not believe drinking the beer, the beer is from me and goes ...
- Very interesting, we will treat!
- No, no, no need to treat ...
- Why? Normal people do not piss beer!
- The problem is not the point. You see, I drink, "Athanasius," and goes "Baltika"
I can not stand for the spirit!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two friends.
- What are you so sad?
- Yes, married yesterday, and she works in the SAI.
-?
- Well, I was fined on the first night for speeding,
double overtaking and stopping in the wrong place.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Three couples having dinner together at a restaurant.
American wife:
- Tell me honey, honey, my!
The Englishman's wife:
- Pass me the sugar, sugar, my!
Russian wife:
- Give me meat ... (thinking) ... cow!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Poppavka to 2-my zakony tepmodinamiki:
"In life there are no perpetual motion machines. But there is a perpetual topmoza.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Alcoholic govopit svoemy nepyuschemy dpygy:
- Come on, Ivan, in the bap convergence.
- Come on, but I do not drink bydy!
Hy they dogovopilis. Ppishli, hence, bap, wino poured dpygy,
but he refuses. Then he govopit:
- Poslyshay what I skazhy. Is somehow pystyne ass. Zhapko.
And vdpyg Pe.ped vedpa him two, one wine, dpygom water. That
bydet he drink?
- Of course, vody!
- It is not the same byd ass!

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