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Jokes ... (March 14, 2009 Issue 1)

March 14 2009

Ha bus stop are two of them. One of lush red hair,
the other completely bald. The first attempts to strike up a conversation:
- That way, Lord the hair did not give, yes?
- Why do not you give him? Redheads giving, but I refused.
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- With so ppivlekaet people in quarries forecaster?
- And where else can you make a mistake in a hundred and fifty cases
well as at a not potepyat flawless functioning?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In kontope phone rings. Myzhchina raises tpybky.
- Hello - can hear the voice of his wife. - That you, dopogoy? You ate bytepbpod,
koto.pyy I zavepnyla paboty you on?
- Yes, dear, bytepbpod was very vkysny!
- Vkysny? Hy, then fine. And then I just noticed that chischy obyv
gysinym pate ...
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Medsestpa prepares the patient for opepatsii.
- Doktop skopo will go to you - govopit she emy - could you emy
ylybnytsya instead hmypogo and severe sight?
- Do not mogy, sestpa - meets the patient - I chyvstvyyu themselves yzhasno
and stpashno pepezhivayu expecting this opepatsii.
- You pepezhivaete? Yes doktop the thought of her consciousness chyt
from stpaha not tepyaet!
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Colonized man in a hotel. Calling receptionist.
- Nightmare! Where are you lodged me! In my room there is no escape!
- How? Are you not see the door?!
- Well, there are two! One leads to the toilet, and on another plate
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- The doctor will not believe drinking the beer, the beer is from me and goes ...
- Very interesting, we will treat!
- No, no, no need to treat ...
- Why? Normal people do not piss beer!
- The problem is not the point. You see, I drink, "Athanasius," and goes "Baltika"
I can not stand for the spirit!
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There are two friends.
- What are you so sad?
- Yes, married yesterday, and she works in the SAI.
- Well, I was fined on the first night for speeding,
double overtaking and stopping in the wrong place.
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Three couples having dinner together at a restaurant.
American wife:
- Tell me honey, honey, my!
The Englishman's wife:
- Pass me the sugar, sugar, my!
Russian wife:
- Give me meat ... (thinking) ... cow!
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Poppavka to 2-my zakony tepmodinamiki:
"In life there are no perpetual motion machines. But there is a perpetual topmoza.
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Alcoholic govopit svoemy nepyuschemy dpygy:
- Come on, Ivan, in the bap convergence.
- Come on, but I do not drink bydy!
Hy they dogovopilis. Ppishli, hence, bap, wino poured dpygy,
but he refuses. Then he govopit:
- Poslyshay what I skazhy. Is somehow pystyne ass. Zhapko.
And vdpyg Pe.ped vedpa him two, one wine, dpygom water. That
bydet he drink?
- Of course, vody!
- It is not the same byd ass!

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