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Jokes ... (May 13, 2009 Issue 3)

May 13 2009

- From now on Russia will not be transported through the territory of Ukraine "Phantom"!
- Why?
- They are stealing gas out of it!
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Comes a young man in a drugstore and says:
- One of condoms, please. Today I meet with my girlfriend.
And no, give me two, please: she has a sister. Perhaps
Give me three: my girl's mother also looks good.
After the purchase, "try" condoms he goes to his girlfriend back home.
Its plant at the table to dine with the whole family. But now with our
hero is something going on: for the dinner he did not utter a single word,
sat red as a beet and did not eat. After dinner, his girlfriend
- What happened to you during dinner, that you, not like the food?
- No, the food was delicious ... But I could not expect that your father
works as a shop at the pharmacy.
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- Sarah, what you have in the locket?
- The hair of my husband.
- But he's still alive!
- It is - still alive, but the hair is long gone.
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Client - a waiter:
- This is a bill for lunch or you're trying to sell me the whole restaurant?
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- The defendant, you hit the neighbor's flower pot on his head.
You repent?
- Het. This geranium is still almost withered away.
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There once was a man - superkrasavchik! Outwardly, this charming
and the ideal that all women just went to him mad. He was offered
role in the movie, offered to become a model shoot for magazines, advertising
etc. But he is, despite its excellent appearance, was a modest
Monogamous and longed for home warmth and comfort.

He dreamed that he would find his beloved to marry her and they zavedut kids.
And so it was the most beautiful, most charming children in the world, he decided to
choose their most beautiful and charming girl. He traveled
half of the world and seen a lot of pretty, sweet girls, but can choose
could not - all they had at least one small-small, but some
disadvantage. One gnawed fingernails, the other was short-sighted, a third was
small breasts, and the fourth was silly, a fifth had a tendency
to cellulite, six too many moles on the skin. So, he had almost
despair, wandered into a village.

There, near the house at the well one old man, he saw three very
charming beauties - the three sisters. A man acquainted with the old man
and honestly explained to him my intention. The old man was delighted and said:

- You know, I've long been trying to give daughters in marriage, but still can
inheritance is not enough. Look closely, can someone of my girls to you
and love;

The man invited him to interview his eldest daughter. The next morning, returned
the old man and said: "She's sweet and beautiful, almost perfect, but it
a little bit, just a little, just barely noticeable, but the burr. "

Went on a date with a mean sister. The next morning, returned
the old man and says: "It is a charming and very pretty, almost
perfect, but a little bit, just a little, just barely noticeable, but overweight
at the waist. "

Led her on a date younger daughter. On the morning of happy returns, all
delighted and says: "It is the most beautiful girl in the world, the most
wonderful, it is perfection itself - I want to marry her and make
with her child !!!!!!»

Played the wedding, soon his young wife gives birth. Newfound father comes
the hospital and he endure the most hideous and ugly /> He was horrified, immediately went to the village to the old man and asked, they say, how is it
What is the point, why it's so unfair life ...

The old man replied: "You see, when you took her out, she barely,
just a little, just barely noticeable, but she was pregnant! "

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