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Jokes ... (October 12, 2009 Issue 1)

October 12 2009
05:05

Happy husband comes home with a cot, which he just bought. Going into the bathroom, he suddenly sees that there is some type of shaving his razor. The mood of the husband, of course, changed dramatically, he rushes into the room and yells to his wife:
- Would you even more clearly expressed when she said to me that soon we will have three!
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13-year-old schoolboy Vasya Ivanov found in the table with his father five tablets of Viagra, which made inside. Later the boy was taken to hospital with burns palms third degree.
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When you buy a car - you buy items in bulk ... and then buying them at retail.
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Doe-hare runs ... Breath, meet a wolf.
- Che's godmother, so out of breath?
- Yes, five rabbits at the same time like otymet.
- So they are not able to because .....
- A-EARS TO WHAT?
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The police Lots sitting blonde okpovavlenym finger.
Her sppashivat, saying that slychilos. Blonde:
- You know, I wanted sovepshit samoybiysvo. Produced a pistol, ppistavila to gpydi and then podymala: "But I have the same y kpasivaya gpyd. Hezachem it to port.". Then I nap.pavo dylo at Prep, but then podymala that y me very kpasivye zyby, p.pyamo zhemchyg. Then I nap.pavo pistol in yho, but podymala it bydet gpomko and zatknyla dpygoe yho finger ....
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Never talks about himself neither good nor bad. In the first case, you will not believe, and the second - to embellish. Confucius.
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There are two friends, and one other said:
- We yesterday with her husband out of this embarrassment! Imagine, we were sitting, and then - a knock at the door. And we're both out of habit in the cabinet as a broken line! ..
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Gpyzin ppishel in pestopan. What book do not know. Decided podslyshat ...
At the next table was a pazgovop:
- Cabbage soup on the table!
- Sorry, but there is no ing.
- Then the sorrel with the eggs!
Georgians Calling ofitsiantky ...
- Ssy on the table!
- Are you at all?
- Tagda scheveli eggs!
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In the middle of the ocean rocks the third day a small boat in which a man sits surrounded by ten beautiful naked girls ...
All looked bleak in the water, the man again bitterly sighs:
- If once I catch a goldfish - head otkruchu! Yeah - make a wish: sex with the most beautiful girls in a quiet romantic atmosphere ...
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Drop the fork - comes to a woman ...
Drop the spoon - comes a woman ...
Drop folder - again, a woman comes ...
Drop points - still comes a woman ...
Yes, work hard, a gynecologist ...

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