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Jokes ... (August 12, 2009 Issue 3)

August 12 2009

The restaurant serves a visitor is a very pretty
ofitsiantochka. After dinner, he asks you to bring the account pays and says:
- But there are three words that you would be very nice to hear, is not it?
- True!
- And like, I guess, what is this word?
- Well, try it!
- I love you!
- No, "Keep the change."
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Of the five concepts listed below, choose one that is not associated in meaning with four others: airplane, helicopter, space shuttle, tram, hemp.
- Of course, cannabis: only it is not a machine.
- False. The correct answer - Tram: only he is not a means for the flight.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
During the trial in a small town lawyer asked the witness, an elderly lady:
- Mrs Smith, you know who I am?
- Of course I know you, Mr. Jefferson, I remember you once since
when you walk under the table went. I even remember you had to change diapers. And in truth, you make me deeply disappointed. You constantly lie, change his wife, manipulate people and behind his call them idiots. Do you consider yourself a rising star, but in reality you're just a miserable second-rate advokatishko. Now, I think everybody sees that I do know very well.
A bit crazy of a question the lawyer, not knowing what to do, points to defense counsel and asked:
- Mrs Smith, you are familiar with the lawyer on the other hand?
- Yes, Mr. Cassidy, I also know I looked after him when he was
small, and he, too, I had to change diapers. And therein, I also
very disappointed: he is a loafer, is willing to do anything, just would not work. He drinks like a pig and can not build a strong relationship with a woman. In addition, his office - the most needy in this town, and he manages to survive only thanks to tax evasion. I think everybody understands that and I also know.
All present in the courtroom began to whisper among themselves, and the judge before appeal for silence, beckoning to her these lawyers, and whisper to them:
- If someone asks you to Mrs. Smith if she knows me, I have to
immediately soldered contempt of court and he was already after 5 minutes would be in jail!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Hello, police? I've been driving on the highway and knocked down two ferrets.
- Well, what can you do, move them to the curb.
- And with their bikes that do?

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