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Jokes ... (August 12, 2009 Issue 1)

August 12 2009

The action takes place in a forgotten God, America, where for a long time, through the merits of feminism, sex is not normal. The young man, somewhat embarrassed and blushing, refers to the pharmacist:
- You know, I have such problems ... Once I see a girl, so just want to hug her, squeeze to her breast, kissing her body, and then deal with her love all night. Simply unbearable want. And nothing I can do about it ... Perhaps you may I suggest something?
Chemist (without hesitation):
- Of course I can. $ 100 per week, accommodation and meals.
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It was a stifling hot day when one man fainted right in the middle of a bustling intersection. Instantly formed tube in all directions. One woman rushed to his aid. When she was
on his knees, easing his collar, a man appeared from the crowd, pushed her and said:
- All right, dear, I passed a first aid course.
The woman calmly watched as he felt his pulse is a sick man and began doing CPR. At that moment she touched his shoulder and said:
- When you go to "Call the Doctor" - I'm already here.
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Vovochka made in the same sentence a few mistakes, and the teacher gave
him at home job as a work on errors - rewrite
Proposition 50. The next day she, checking in Vovochka homework, says to him:
- Vovochka, you've rewritten the sentence only 20 times instead of 50!
- You know, pigweed Ivan, and me with math discord.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
A journalist asks a question of famous artists:
- The most joyous occasion for an artist - this is the first exhibition of his paintings?
- No, perhaps the most joyful event - this is when he first steal some painting.
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Aunt came to the artist and asks to paint her portrait:
- Only a draw with brylyantovym necklace around his neck, with ruby earrings in his ears, with garnet bracelet on his wrist and a gold Rolex on his arm!
- But you also do not have any of that! Why is it you?
- Do you draw, and I'm going to hang this portrait at home! Now imagine that if I die before my husband, he is an old dog, immediately marries
young, that it pomuchaetsya trying to find these gems!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Affair with a woman assumes only one rule: make her happy.
And the rules are simple:
- Doing what she loves - getting a score,
- Do what it already expects from you - nothing,
- Doing what she does not like - you lose points.

So, humble yourself!

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