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Jokes ... (June 12, 2009 Issue 1)

June 12 2009
05:19

Two pals meet in veterinary hospitals. One asks the other:
- What happened to your dog?
- Why, mother in law was bitten.
- I hope you're not going to put to sleep?
- No, come on. Just now he urgently needs to be vaccinated against
Rabies ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Our regular guy sitting on the beach. Suddenly, a wave rolls on
Beach goldfish. A man, of course, its lack. That, of course,
he says with a human voice, that he let her go for it,
of course, fulfill all his desires.
A guy asks BEER! Fish performs. Before the huge number of peasant
beer.
Man:
- Oh! How many beers! (Clobber the fish on a big stone, as it
do with the dried fish) And here's a fish there!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Well, - the world?
- Yes we are, like, and do not quarrel.
- Then we have "... And now - the world?!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- I'm with my wife in bed just a Playboy!
- How?
- Published once a month ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Doctor, I have pain here, here and here!
- And here?
- There is no!
- Sister, Ivanov hammer here - every two hours.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Burying a husband and wife, lamenting the coffin:
- Would have kissed your hands, lest thou bring payday, would have kissed
your legs, but went the wrong path, you would have kissed his eyes,
Yes, they did not look with kindness ...
A godfather is next and says:
- Yes, kiss his forehead, but his mother was fucked!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Belarus has released a new bill, the dignity of 10,000 rabbits that
equivalent to about 8 U.S. dollars. According to the Belarusian
governments, the new Belarusian 10000-I note the degree of protection
surpasses the U.S. dollar 8.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Morning. Wife - husband:
- John, Joe, why did you call me tonight Nadia?
- Masha, you would not believe! Dreamed that I was - Lenin!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In South Africa, three white faces behind the bar and sipping whiskey.
Suddenly the door opens with a bang, and the bar goes black for 2 meters,
huge, like a bull. He goes to one of the whites, drinking his glass of
and says:
- A white women I fucked!
- No problem - meets white, stammering.
Then comes the second black to white, drank his glass and said:
- A white women I fucked!
- It is better for you - he replied, stammering.
Finally comes the third Negro to white, drank his glass and said:
- A white women I fucked!
- And that's right - meets white - black for me too cause
disgust.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Life is like a dogsled. If you do not warp, the pattern never
does not change.

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