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Jokes ... (July 11, 2009 Issue 1)

July 11 2009
05:32

The husband comes from a long trip with a large sum of money.
Calling his wife for a walk, drink vodka. Over time, vyvylivayas
from the next pub, he says:
- Come to you.
A woman in response:
- You're it! my husband arrived yesterday ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Check yourself, or someone as Voice:

- Gall choleric: Do not read - all at once at minus 2, and then reads it.
- Melancholic: After reading all of minus 1 - to no vyezhyvalis helluva lot.
- Generous sanguine: Do not read - all on the plus 2 and then reads it.
- Just sanguine: After reading all of plus 1 - no wonder there karyachilis .- phlegmatic: No nothing - let them together with all of this
hrenovney understand.
- Mathematics: Everyone - at zero and two in mind.
- Communist: Revolutionary egalitarianism, who have a lot - 2 to take away, and who have little - 2 add.
- Tax inspectors and traffic cops: Every tear from the maximum minus two and possibly repeat this procedure from other computers.
- Accountant: The first five - to plus 2, the other five - at minus 2, that the balance converge.
- Student: After a scholarship - to the fullest, generously over the pair plus, in front of a scholarship - all the zeros.
- Curmudgeon: First on the list with difficulty and doubt - one (the first plus, and then instead of it - minus, because it is still less than the plus, although its a pity).
- Chekist: After careful review, as long as anyone anything, then, after a special meeting - each according to merit.
- Woman: Because of the inability to contemplate the authors, unsystematic and arbitrary approach to voting, if only everyone something worthwhile.
- Man: How about women and beer, so as to plus 2.
- Author: Myself plus 2, the rest of minus 2, or will be in touch as you have competitors minuses stuck.
- Horny: What is there to climb even after a porn site, if in the smoking room and everything is cool tell.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two friends:
- How are you doing?
- Normally, only a sore throat sick, can not be cured.
- I too was sick, my wife is healed good sex.
- And it is at home now?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Judge:
- What do you accuse your husband?
- He called me a pussy.
- So what?
- And then decided to check out, dropping from the third floor, I fall down
on all four paws!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Man comes to the pharmacy and pharmacist said a loud voice,
not at all embarrassed by other shoppers:
- Give me a condom!
Chemist, blushing:
- It is necessary to follow the language!
- Exactly! Give me two.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Attending a wedding in Chukotka.
Toastmasters:
- It's time to retire young with this holiday.
Morning. Young Chukchi:
- Dad, nothing we have not succeeded. All the while, when I tried to
insert, I have a member adjoined to the stomach.
Father:
- Son, do not worry. Go into the woods and vystrugay spears, such
so that one end rested against his Adam's apple, but others resisted claw
member.
Passes per year. Young Chukchi:
- Thanks Dad, everything is super ...
Held for another year. Young Chukchi:
- Dad, we already get along without spears.
Held for another year. Chukchi spears drags along the ground.
Father:
- Son, where are you rogatninu dragging?
Young Chukchi:
- Discarded.
Dad:
- Yes leave, the economy will prove useful.
Young Chukchi:
- But why?
Dad:
- Under the old age, LOWER SHORE WILL !!!!!!!

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