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Jokes ... (April 11, 2009 Issue 2)

April 11 2009
11:25

The end of the nineteenth century. A young Jewish boy from the Polish town went to conquer
America. A few years back a successful, rich and thick
visit an old lone mother. Mom, just getting to know her son, shocked asks:
- Sonny, where is your beard and sidelocks?
- In America, my mother, I do not want to stand out among the others, so I shaved.
- But you at least kept the Sabbath and eating kosher?
- Sorry, Mom had to work hard, even on a holiday of Shabbat,
and I saved money and bought the cheapest meat - pork.
- Sonny, frankly, you, at least, has remained cut off?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In the 16 years she thinks that her husband would be:
young
beautiful
rich
idle

In the 20 -
Well, maybe not young, but
beautiful
rich
idle

In the 25 -
Well, maybe not the young,
Well, maybe not beautiful, but
rich
idle

30 -
Well, maybe not the young,
Well, maybe not beautiful,
Well, maybe not rich, but
idle

and after 35 -
And like the husband of her neighbor and nothing ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Cinderella was not a ball gown, but the fairy godmother gave her a crystal
shoes and helped get the ball. There, she charmed the prince, danced with him,
but at midnight, running, lost her shoe ...
And she had to remove the second shoe and go home completely naked!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Newlyweds. The husband took a leave, all day doing repairs. Evening that the young
wife, sits in a closet. Then he discovered that the seat was painted,
and it can not come off.
Cries, tears. Male unscrews seat. Wife on the ass ochkom belly flops
on the sofa with a cry of "Call the doctor quick, idiot."
Comes the doctor, the husband shows him lying on the bare booty wife:
- You see that we have.
Doctor:
- Charming! Great! But I would replace the frame.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Boy and girl come after the visit to his home. He takes a
keys, and the girl says to him:
- You know, I look like a man opens the door and determining the suitability of
we have each other ... If he is rude sticks the key in the door - he was a rude lover
and it's not for me, but if he drops the keys and can not find the keyhole,
he was an inexperienced lover and he did not for me ... And here is how you open the door,
cute?
Man:
- Well, first I liznu keyhole ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Situeshn next.
New York. Evening. Rain.
At one bar goes wet through Ebony and appropriate to the rack.
Bartender:
- Something will order, sir?
Ebony:
- Dry white.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Prhodit man to doctor:
- Doctor, I have five years recovering from alcoholism and, finally, fully recovered ..!
Doctor:
- Congratulations, my dear, and what you led me?
Man:
- Tell me, can I have to drink ...???

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